calling – Page 2 – Blessings on the Journey

Do you ever wonder what people think when they see you? I’m not completely just talking about visual judgments here, but the whole shebang. It’s just funny to me to think about how we are each perceived and how close to the mark that is.

One of the students and I walked over to the campus Starbucks earlier today to talk about seminary and candidacy and all that is wonderful and crazy about heading into ministry in the United Methodist Church. It was a fun conversation and I’m excited about his journey. What was funny to me is that one of the folks we met along the way, that I know pretty well, didn’t even speak to me or seem to recognize me. Now, I must say, that since there’s no meetings today and I’m not anticipating having to look too terribly nice, I’m in jeans and a short sleeved shirt with no make up. You could call this one of my uniforms. What is hilarious is that when I’m dressed nicely with my make up on, I’m recognized immediately, but in my “natural” state, not so much. Now there are pros and cons about being recognized and pros and cons about blending in. I just think it’s funny to think about.

I mentioned this to some of the students at lunch and one very nicely and graciously and probably a little untruthfully, said – “What? You look exactly the same.” God bless the young. We were having some conversation about the upcoming school year and getting ready for Welcome Week and the first few weeks of classes and how we need to plan and prepare and get rocking this summer so that we show the very best of Winthrop Wesley those first few weeks. In other words, we’re going to put on our nice clothes and make up and rock this thing. Or as my Ganny would say, we’re going to put our “face” on. Thinking about it – it’s the truth. When do I clean up and make sure everything looks nice – when someone’s coming over, when there’s a board meeting, at the beginning of the school year. When do we put out fresh pine straw and make sure the outside of the building looks good – Orientations and the beginning of the school year. When do I actually consider wearing a suit or ironing that dress – Annual Conference, a district meeting, or some other professional gathering. When do our congregations particular dress up – Easter, Christmas, graduation, the big days. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with celebrating or dressing up for dinner or actually using the fine china every now and then. (Come to think of it – we have NEVER used ours and that is a sad, sad thing. Maybe we should plan a big dinner sometime soon or at least use the stuff. I don’t know why we even registered for those tea cups. My Lord.) Reality is that I think sometimes we need those occasions or deadlines to get geared up and do something. Although I know that I need to exercise more and stop eating all of these delicious cookies from Lell’s, I also keep thinking to myself – I’ll start tomorrow or maybe one day when I get a bike and ride it to work or maybe before bathing suit season. And yet, we’re at bathing suit season and I’m thinking, I don’t really have to wear a bathing suit, right? Or maybe I can scratch the bikini this year and actually go for the “Mom” suit. (You know the kind I’m talking about, don’t even try to deny it.) Sometimes without an imminent deadline, we languish where we are and don’t make the extra effort to get our “stuff” together. So as much as I in some ways don’t like being recognized and it’s nice not to be “seen” all the time, it’s also a good reminder that we’ve got to keep it moving and keep it flowing not just on the high traffic, big deal, main event kind of times, but maybe at least a trickle of keeping it hospitable, welcoming, genuine and open all the time. You never know whose going to walk into your congregation at what time or who you’re going to welcome to your door. You don’t know if today’s going to be the day at Starbucks that you meet someone that is going to rock your socks off and be that missing piece to some ministry idea or ministry team or whatever for your congregation. I’m not saying we’re not authentic – and I’m certainly not saying that I’m going to suddenly dress up for Wesley each day, but I am saying that we’ve got to be aware of what the world sees. We’ve got to be aware of how we’re perceived. We’ve got to be aware of the image that we create.

While at lunch there were three professors in the restaurant with us and one of them who comes to our Faculty-Staff lunches looked over and smiled and waved as the students and I were discussing Nicaragua and the upcoming school year. That’s what I want these folks to see – students engaged and excited and brainstorming – not just about their schoolwork or their majors but also about their vocational journeys, their worlds – all the fun and mess and real life. We want the world to see all of who we are – not just the Sunday morning shiny with the great hair, outfit, and full face, but also the struggles, the tears, the frustrations and everything in between. So the challenge – put our best foot forward – true – but be real. What is your image of yourself? What do you think the world sees? What do you think God sees? How are we called to be in the world? Do we need a big fancy event to throw on some nice clothes or use the good china? Who or what has helped to define how you see yourself?

“Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks–we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.” – Parker Palmer

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. ¹ You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. ² You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. ³ You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. ⁴ Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. ⁵ You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. ⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? ⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. ⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, ¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. ¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” ¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. ¹³ For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

I admit that Mike and I are a bit obsessed with Gungor at present. I really, really enjoy their music and their “God is Not a White Man” video is hilariously awesome. youtube it.

A couple Sundays ago I played their song, “Beautiful Things” in church and because I just couldn’t get it out of my head and I also think it’s something that is really important for us to “get,” we played it again this past Sunday. The text was Jeremiah 1:4-10 and it’s where Jeremiah is saying “Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy…” And God responds saying hey – I’ve got this. Don’t just tell me the I’m only’s because I’ll send you where I need you to go and I’ll give you the words to speak. I’ve got this therefore – you’ve got this.

During Salkehatchie for many years when the camp director would give out t-shirts, he would place the t-shirts like a mantle over the youth or adult leaders necks and he would say “God is counting on you” or “The Lord is counting on you” and then your response would be “I am counting on God” or likewise.

For me this was always a little bit an uneasy thing. Maybe the t-shirts were heavy – just kidding. But I guess I felt the weight of the statement that we were saying. Now there’s a part of me that says – hey God is God – God doesn’t need us to do anything – God can do anything God wants. But there’s another side that says – but God called us – we are to be in on this awesome partnership with God. We are the agents for change that with the Spirit of God are called to bring God’s kingdom to earth.

Weighty.

I think of the Mercy Me song – “Word of God Speak.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTY-UKgLlXs

Love that song. Great to help quelch some fears and very true.

But sometimes this fear of being called to this place. This fear of speaking out in truth and love. This fear of stepping up to anything can rob us of so much…much more than we realize. And let me tell you – we pastors fear these things too. I’m sure professors and great presenters and presidents and congresspeople and all sorts of folks – feel a great deal of fear when they step up to the mic. How can you not?

But we in this partnership with God – we can trust that we’ll have the words to speak when we need them. God will come through for us. If we open ourselves up to the leading of God, God won’t leave us hanging. I’m calling this a partnership even though I completely realize that what we bring to the table and what God brings to the table are two totally different things and we only bring stuff at all to the table by the grace of God. But I also say it’s a partnership because we are active and alive and crucial to this spreading of the Gospel – the spreading of the Word of God.

In seminary I took this class with Dr. Brian Mahan called “Forgetting Ourselves On Purpose” or FOOP for short. He wrote a book by the same name. We also read Parker Palmer’s “Let Your Life Speak” in this class and I enjoyed both of them. For some of us we are so concerned about what our life will say – we’re so concerned about our book sales, our successes, our failures, etc. that we get lost in the mix. We’re so scared that we won’t measure up or be good enough that we lose ourselves and the whole point of all this in the process.

Zechariah 4:6 says, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord.” This dance that we’re doing with God – it’s not by our own abilities, it’s by the Spirit of God at work in us. It’s not based on who has lived what’s seemed like the “best” life, but it is based on the grace of God that is alive and well in us.

One of the students at Wesley last night said that she asked a friend of hers from high school to come to Wesley with her. They were working on in the gym – no big deal – just come on over with me. And she said the girl told her that if she went, people would laugh at her. The student of mine told her – no one there will laugh at you, it will be great…and then the girl told her, no not them. If I tell my family I’ve gone to Wesley, if I tell my family I’ve been to church, they’ll laugh at me.

God did not make us with a measuring stick stuck to us that we may test out who is good enough and who is not. God did not make us to live in fear and shame from ourselves without way to get out. God made beautiful things out of dust and God breathed life into these beautiful things and God calls these beautiful things to be the mouthpieces of a new way of life. No it is not easy and yes we will sometimes be scared, but God has called us to this place, in this time for a purpose and a word for those around us.

I remember on one of my little brother’s walls as a child, there being a cross-stitched picture that said, “God don’t make junk.” I think there was another phrase with it and a picture, but all I can remember is the “God don’t make junk.”

We are each made in the quirky sometimes weird way that we are and that’s beautiful in and of itself. We had a beautiful, amazingly spirit-filled, beautiful offertory on Sunday in The Journey – awesome clarinet music. Wow the talent and the amazing gift of God! We don’t all have to be the best musicians or the prettiest girl and the handsomest guy or the most athletic or the smart one in the family or the friendly cheerleader, or whatever else. God made Jeremiah. God called Jeremiah. God made each and every one of us (hello Psalm 139) and God has called us.