faith – Page 3 – Blessings on the Journey

Advent, Children, Faith, giving, Mommy, poor, responsibility, Santa, service

Baby Chicks

Posted on December 14, 2011 by narciejeter

You know the blogs and forwards and Advent Conspiracy and It’s Not Your Birthday and even the OccupyAdvent on twitter have a clear message that Advent is not a time for commercialism or just giving ourselves a bunch of stuff that we really don’t need when we’re blessed with so much? I have enjoyed reading them and trying to stay present and mindful during Advent. I also appreciate the counter-cultural. Isn’t that what we as the Church are supposed to be?

The hilarity that has ensued has nothing to do with whether I believe in these practices or not and nothing to do with whether I think we could really solve basic problems in the world just by sharing and giving what we can to those in need. Because I do believe that. I honestly believe that if we saw past our own needs and our own selves, than we wouldn’t just want to give, but we would be compelled to give – it would be a moral, spiritual and imperative obligation.

So here I am trying to teach that to my children – who just turned 3 and 4 by the way – and lo and behold, it’s not as easy as it may seem. At least not in our house. I recently posted a blog to my facebook that I loved….. I love that it wasn’t something parents imposed but was the kid’s idea. I also love that it was a family affair and something everyone enjoyed and got into. I had been keeping the Heifer International catalogue on the counter in my “put everything in it because you don’t want to lose things even though it’s a jumbled up mess” basket and I thought this may be the time. Evy had gone to sleep early so it was just me and Enoch, the 4 year old.
So we started talking about Jesus and Santa which good golly it’s easy for me to distinguish between the two (duh!) but explaining to a child the differences is hilarious. And then we started talking about gifts. The first hiccup was that Enoch didn’t understand why everyone didn’t get gifts. If we say that Santa gives gifts to good little boys and girls than why didn’t some good little girls and boys get gifts? If we see that Jesus loves everyone and came here to be with all of us, why doesn’t everyone get gifts? Why are there poor people? Why do they not have money? What do their Mommy’s and Daddy’s do?

We then started talking about toys. I frequently tell Enoch that I think he has more toys than Toys R Us and that he needs to share them. We’ve talked about this in making Operation Christmas Child boxes and using his happy meal toys for this and other small toys. So I tell him that he’s still going to get toys from Santa but that we as a family can give animals to other families and communities.

Oh boy. Let’s just say that when we opened the catalogue and he had the option to pick out goats or bunnies or baby chicks or cows, he wanted them all. Not for the other families, but for him. Especially the baby chicks.
Mike got a good chuckle from this entire interchange, nut needless to say, I talked about people that don’t have enough foods and how animals can help give us food or we can sell things from the animals so that we can take care of each other, etc., etc., etc. The amazing folks that we stay with on our trips to Nicaragua have asked us to bring the kids with us on our trips, and I’ve never more than that night wanted to take them on one. Because I can explain and explain and explain and we can make our Operation Christmas Child boxes and we can pick out our baby chicks, but there’s nothing like seeing and interacting and playing with children that live in such very different conditions than your own.

So that was my first thought. I want Enoch and Evy not to give just because it’s right or just for the joy of giving – even though those are good, but I want them to understand and see and know and feel that passion about providing for the least of these – not just as a hand out or looking down on people or we as the great Western world, come to save them – but knowing that this is what we’re called to do.

Josh preached a sermon series on stewardship a couple weeks ago and I think about his Spiderman illustration of the saying that many of us know – “With great power comes great responsibility” or the words from Luke 12:48 – “To whom much is given, much is required.” We have been given so much. When I started preaching in a local church I had no idea what to say when handing out the offering plates and so I started to say, “May we give back to God what God has graciously given to each of us.” It’s God’s. And we have been blessed. But it’s hard to see and know and feel our blessings sometimes if we don’t see what would have happened without them. I don’t think that’s always the case, but Enoch doesn’t know how much to appreciate that Optimus Prime transformer when he has a toy box full of toys versus if that was his only toy.

The other thing that jumped out to me is the nature of us and commercials and books and songs and how we talk about Santa Claus. When we’re talking to children about Santa, we talk about Santa giving gifts to little boys and girls all over the world. We talk about the good children getting lots of present and the bad children getting coals and switches. So if you get a lot of toys, you’re a good kid? If you don’t, you’re not? I remember the Christmas that my dad gave us walnuts and oranges in our stockings because that’s what they had done when he was a kid. Not hating on the walnuts and oranges, but we wanted chocolate and candy canes and little toys – not just some walnuts and oranges. I’m not the parent that talks a great deal about Santa or the ins and outs of how he gets everywhere and how many gifts he gives, etc. but there’s no way I can honestly say that I haven’t used Santa during the holidays. He’s the best leverage in the world in December when kids are wild on Christmas party, candy, and just the excitement and fun of Christmas in the air! We haven’t bought an Elf on the Shelf, but even I can throw out there – Santa doesn’t like whiners or people that don’t share with their sisters and brothers or those that say potty words (Enoch and Evy’s potty words of choice right now are “diaper” and “baby” so watch out if you’re called a “diaper baby.”).

I can throw that out there with Jesus all year long – Jesus likes you to share, Jesus wants us to love even the bullies, Jesus….wants us to give a family some baby chicks instead of you getting even more toys.
I don’t have any answers with this blog, but I do think it’s an interesting commentary on how we talk about Christmas and how we see it. It’s been fascinating trying to talk to Enoch and Evy about this. They understand the manger and the Christmas story and they understand Santa and giving gifts but how those two relate…we’re still working on that one. To be honest, in thinking about it, I’m still working on explaining that one. These are the things that I love about this age. They’re honest and they don’t know all the “right” answers yet….they just know that they’d like some baby chicks.

How are we preparing during Advent? How are we not just posting the articles or getting the tweets, but we’re actually engaging in what it means to wrestle with these counter-cultural ideas? Explaining to a 4 year old, how are we showing the amazing Christmas story and the essentials without getting all bogged down in Santa?

A great and challenging article on this: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/12/when-christmas-gets-radical-whose-birthday-is-it-really/

***Note that I’m not saying not to do alternative gift giving – quite the contrary. I think we really should! I just think it’s important to communicate the whys and the whats and the Whos and not just do it for the kudos or the gold stars! There are a gazillion great orgs to give to!!!

Advent, Argument, Family, Impossible, Love, Promise, Rivalry

The Last Word

Posted on December 12, 2011 by narciejeter

Winthrop Wesley celebrated Advent early this year fitting in with the college calendar and so my sense of which Sunday we’re on in Advent is all out of whack. I had never done this before but a campus ministry friend told me about it and I thought we could give it a shot. It amaze me how much it fit to talk about Peace, Hope, Joy, and Love around exam season with lots of papers, projects, and tests looming, some people ready to be home while others dread it, and all of the highs and lows of community – those ready to hurl their roommate and that want to squeeze out every drop of time with their friends before leaving for the break.

On our last night together, we looked at the candle of LOVE and talked about the last word. We may pile up all sorts of opinions and points in our argument or debate, but in the end, with Jesus, love is the last word of all – God’s love for us, for all the world, and all of creation. During this season talking about the last word has a lot of connotations for me. For some, we wonder if we’ll ever get the last word on anything. Things seem a bit out of control with questions about work or family or bills or the future or health. It often doesn’t feel like we get a say in anything and we’re merely reacting to what happens, instead of setting the course.

For others, we think of some of our friends or family or co-workers or maybe even ourselves as ones who thrive with having that last word and can’t imagine life without getting it. I think of the television show Modern Family and the hilarity that ensued during the holiday episode this year between the “Realists” and the “Dreamers.” But as the episode pointed out, you need a little bit of both. We need each other – both realists and dreamers. We have ones who are ready to concede the argument and ones that will fight to the bitter end trying to get the last word – but we all need to be somewhere in the middle. We shouldn’t bowl over just because we’re “Christians” and let people walk and talk all over us, but we also shouldn’t be the ones that are raising to the loudest voice so that our point can be heard over all the masses not caring about the casualties that may surround us.

As some of you know, my brother Josh, is the rebel in our family. I don’t think he has a corner deal on this and we’re all the rebel at times over such things, but in the delicious rivalry between South Carolina and Clemson, he’s the lone Clemson tiger. Y’all know things have gotten a little tricky these past weeks with that rivalry and I’m not going to even begin to talk about the game, the history, the record, who said what, or who’s got the better mascot, because it sure as heck is not worth all of the angst and passion and pride that we all put into it. Josh is not the most die-hard and orange Clemson fan and I’m not the most die-hard and garnet Gamecock fan, so we can probably have this conversation easier than some of the hot heads, but let’s just say there’s been some thought-provoking discussion over football and faith and where in the world pastors and people of faith should fall on these topics and how they should present themselves not just in “real life” but on facebook and twitter as well. You can go round and round and as people start trying to throw grenades at each other trying to get the last word, it feels like nobody wins. That’s what I like and am challenged by in debating with Josh. Neither one of us wants to give in and both of us have the natural tendency to want to get that last word in, but we also take our faith seriously and we don’t want to unduly hurt the other person or slam the other “side.” Does that mean that there’s no time that we don’t get angry or want to rail at the other person? No. But it does mean that we hold each other accountable not just to our conversation and “the facts” as we think we see them, but also to the core values that we share. It drives me crazy but it’s also something that I rely on and am challenged by as we can call each other out!

In this Advent season, it’s important to realize that the One who holds the real last word – not just to some football rivalry or presidential debate or late night talk show snaffoo, but to all things – is the One who’s coming that we celebrate and await for the second time during this Advent season. In the fourth Sunday of Advent I really love all the texts. I know I’m biased – I love Advent in general, but I really like that all the texts are talking about God being with us and the impossible happening and Holy mysteries and saying yes even when things look far-fetched and unlikely. Love it! (Oh I should probably tell you what they are – 2 Samuel 7:1-11, 16, Luke 1:46b-55, Romans 16:25-27, Luke 1:26-38)

You may be wondering where in the heck did I get the last word from that? I didn’t mention any revelation passages. A couple of things. The first in verse 33 talking about Jesus, “He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” The second in verse 37, “For nothing will be impossible with God.” There is no end to his kingdom. He will have the last word, not in a Jesus juke kind of way, but in a beautiful, Christ-like, kingdom of God, eternal life kind of way….it really does mean eternal after all. I love verse 37 too because it’s not saying nothing is impossible for God or in God even though those can be true as well, but nothing is impossible with God. If we go to God with these things that trouble us, these things that we wrestle with, these things that drive us crazy or make us beyond impassioned, than with God we can find a way to be those Christ-like people in the world. With God we can be the Jesus that the world sees and knows. With God we don’t have to worry about the last word or who holds the speaking stick, because it’s not us and it’s not them, it’s the one who created us and who is creating all things new.

I fight for the last word more often than you probably know and some of you know me well. It gets on my nerves when people talk down to people or about a book or a movie or a cause act like know it all’s. And there’s a part of me that than wants to say – well more figuratively – I want to blow them out of the water. Now again, I don’t believe that “Christians” just sit back on their hands and close their mouths and just let the world keep spinning, quite the contrary. However, I do know that often what I’m reacting to is my own pride or my own issues. Hello intramural basketball! That’s the other thing that’s critical in this with God idea. If we’re speaking with God, if we’re living our lives with God, if we’re juggling all of our demands with God, than for some reason I think that we’ll live our lives differently than if we just go it alone with our own sense of righteousness and justice. Because I don’t know about you, but for me, there are times I can look back in conversations or experiences and I know it wasn’t God – it was me, going it alone, and spinning out. But if we are with God, then nothing is impossible. Not worries about family or friends or work or what we’re going to do with our lives or how we should spend our money or who we need to seek forgiveness or how we’re going to let our lights shine.

So as I think about the holidays and all of the parties and the family and times of conversation and fun that are coming and I know, knowing our family and friends that things will be said with humor and love but always a little controversy and fun with so many folks and different ideas, may we realize and know that there are promises and mysteries during this Advent and that God’s kingdom will reign forever and we can be apart of that knowing that nothing is impossible with God and that we don’t have to carry all of the world’s burdens on our shoulders, but as we do the work of God, we can feel sure and certain that the last word comes from God – a God of grace and joy and hope and peace and great, great love!

Advent, Balance, Busy-ness, Centering, Devotional Life, Faith, Health, New Years, Tune Up

Time for a Tune Up

Posted on December 12, 2011 by narciejeter

I’m sitting at the car dealership where there’s a computer kiosk, right beside a vending machine selling 5 Hour Energy Drinks. Really. In a car dealership you need 5 hour energy drinks? Maybe so. I don’t know if you would like to drink one in a waiting room though.

My car has needed an oil change for the longest time. It’s one of those new kinds that instead of looking at the lovely sticker that the last oil change put on your car saying what mile to bring it back on, it tells you you’ve got 15% oil life left, 10% and so on. Let’s just say I’m way over after the 0% and when you do that it flashes at you at all times this little yellow wrench. You would think that the little wrench would have been annoying enough that it would have spurred me on to take the car in. Quite the contrary. In some ways it was a fun game to see how long it would take me to notice. Especially on a drive to Columbia, there were many miles that I didn’t notice and then out of the corner of my eye I would think, what is that thing flashing and lo and behold I would remember the wrench.

Yes, it would inspire some guilt and I would think gosh, I am really stinking at getting things done right now but then I would remind myself it’s the end of the semester, things are crazy, a break is coming.

I don’t know about you but it seems like that’s a habit in my life. There are times when I push through the busy and just keep going well past the yellow light of the wrench blinking. Last night I began praying before I went to sleep and in my mind I started saying the words to the blessing I often pray when sharing a meal with the students. That’s not a good sign folks. When what naturally comes out is just the pattern and is not so much the heart, that gives me pause.

But is it a pause that I will do something about? I don’t know.

You see, I would like to think that if my prayer life or my family life or my work life or my scale of sanity had a blinking yellow wrench every time I woke up to show me that I need to get a tune up, I would actually do something about it. I would right the wrong or at least make an intentional effort. You would think this, right?

But then again, I have gone hundreds of miles with this blinking light and as much as I feel guilty when others drive my car or if someone sees the blinking light, it hasn’t forced me to remedy it. I may know that it needs fixing, others may see that it needs fixing, but if I don’t make the choice to do something about it, than it languishes in it’s oil-less misery getting worse and worse with more and more damage.

I think there are seasons where we wonder, is this the time? Is this when I should make the change? Is this the moment to make some new habits?

And then – at least I – think, well it’s not New Years and it’s not my birthday and it’s not some milestone moment. Am I really going to do whatever this Is at least 6-8 times to actually make it a habit? Is this a good enough moment? Is it a dire enough situation?

When I first talked to my neurosurgeon about the brain tumor, one of the perhaps idiotic things that I asked, was if taking my vitamins now and exercising now what make a difference. I’m not saying those things would have made any difference in the grand scheme of things but I look back at the irony of that question, like – can I get a do over and actually do things “right” and that make everything better?

We don’t do things like take seriously our devotional and prayer life, be fully present with our kids and treasure our spouse, and try to live as an example of the love of Christ instead of just a harried, frustrated, tired person, just because it’s “right” or it’s going to be the cure all. We do these things because they help to make as whole. God doesn’t command things just for the heck of it or so that we can walk around with halos. God commands things because God wants the best for us and wants to save us as much heartache and hurt as possible. The Honda company doesn’t just have the wrench light up for no reason, but because it’s something that I need to deal with NOW and not 1,000 miles later.

So what are some things that we need to take seriously? Is our check engine light on? Or is it just an oil change that is needed? What are some areas that we see as things that need our attention?

The awesome thing is that we don’t do all the work by ourselves. Just like, I’m not the one in the shop working on my car right now, I’m also not the one who has to try to “fix” my life all by myself. It’s not even really about fixing. It’s about being open to God and God’s leading and opening our eyes to our growing edges. This is not because God loves us any less or that anything can separate us from the love of God, because we know that’s not true, but it’s so that we are firing on all cylinders and are ready for whatever life may throw at us.

Oh my all of these cars references are killing me. One more though – let us this day, this Advent, not just waiting for New Year’s, let the Great Mechanic open us up and give us the tune up that we need. Let us be open to that. Let us be ready for that. Let us take it seriously and be ready. Even in the midst of the hustle and bustle, there are times when we need to take a breath and pause things for a bit so that we can continue on in the most full and abundant way that we can.

Abundance, Blessings, Faith, Promise, Providence, Thankful

God Things

Posted on November 2, 2011 by narciejeter

Today in this season of thanks I thank God for the God things. That sounds like a really general and broad area, right? But I know you know what I’m talking about. I thank God for the times when you can feel God’s presence whether in the sacred or the secular, the intentional and the spontaneous.

Both kids have not been sleeping well lately and both were up off and on all last night. Needless to say, it’s been a sleep-deprived hazy day. But in the midst, there’s all these God things that keep us going. When things seem to derail and doubt starts to creep in or fears for the future begin to weigh, it’s nice to be reminded that we are called to trust in God. We are asked to step out in faith. We are charged to live lives full of the bold promise that God will provide.

So today I thank God for the little bits brought into our lives where we can feel that Spirit moving. I am thankful for possibilities and dreams and prayers. I am thankful for gentle reminders and teachings that I know I needed to hear today about forgiveness and peace. I am thankful for spiritual mentors and grounded students who reflect God’s grace. I am thankful for the joy that buoys us up even when we’re exhausted and blah-ed out and for the promises of God.

What little God things did God show you today? How was your spirit refreshed today or your calling confirmed? Where did you see God today?

Loving jamming to Colbie Caillat “Brighter Than the Sun” today.

Death, Dreams, Future, God, Health, Impossible, Romans 4, Tired, Trust, Tumor

A little too much…

Posted on September 27, 2011 by narciejeter

I don’t know why but it’s been a hard couple of days in thinking about brain tumor land. Don’t worry nothing new – no change. This sounds so morbid, but on Saturday night I dreamed that I died – literally – and then went to heaven. Let’s just say in my dream, heaven was not what I expected. The pros – my three cats greeted me at the entrance. Who knows what that means…could be because two weeks ago I found out that the oldest cat Pug is in the beginning stages of kidney and renal failure or then again it could be because they greet me at the door all the time and any time they have thrown up a hair ball somewhere or made another mess Mike likes to threaten them. =0)

I don’t remember a ton about the dream or how things were laid out or anything and I am not at all saying that this is what it’s like or any sort of premonition at all (is that enough disclaimers there?), but I spent the dream waiting for people to get there. Now I know that heaven is heaven and duh we’re not going to be miserable sitting around swinging our legs back and forth waiting for the rest of our family to get there, but that was the dream. It sucked. Royally.

I didn’t really tell anyone about it until yesterday primarily because I had been thinking about it a lot and I know that if I say something out loud or if I write about it, in some crazy way, that helps me to process and make sense of things.

And then brain tumor stuff has just been popping up everywhere – wonderful friends checking in, a minister on the conference prayer list that we should be praying for, on everyone’s cancer statuses yesterday which was great, me still trying to get hair gel to smooth down the little hairs from the scar that are now long enough to look a little ridiculous, and the sometimes headaches and tingling that I often ignore but sometimes in one of these moods, wonder about. It is so stinking frustrating sometimes. On Sunday at the South Carolina delegation meeting we listened to a presentation on Benefits and Pension for close to two hours hearing about possible changes at the upcoming General Conference. When talking about life insurance and death benefits and spouses and pensions and insurance and disability for that long there is a large part of me that wants to just think of this as a tiny bump in the road and things are going to be fine and I’ll make it to the mandatory retirement age of 70. It could happen. I know that it could. And there’s another part of me that wants to figure out ways to provide and care for my family no matter what will happen and looking at all scenarios have as much of a plan as I can.

For the most part, I don’t even like bringing it up because I know if I talk to Josh about it while playing basketball or Mike about it when we get home from Wesley or to whoever in some ways, especially for my family, it stresses them out too. They don’t know what’s going to happen any more than I do.

It’s scary. And there’s still a part of me that is angry and frustrated that this is even part of our lives. There’s enough to worry about with kids and bills and living out one’s calling and vocational discernment to actually deal with all of this.

So that’s where I am. Saying to God it may just be a little too much and that I’m a little tired of battling in so many areas.

Are pastors “supposed” to say that? Who knows. But if I don’t keep it real and have my integrity than to me I’m nothing but a hypocrite and someone in denial.

The irony of this is that last night I preached during our sermon series on the book of Romans about God making impossible things possible. We were specifically looking at Romans 4 where it talks about Abraham and his faith. We then had some time of silence at the end where we could have a chance to think about some things that we would see or do or figure out or try or find if only we didn’t have doubts or fears or even sometimes “reality” holding us back. What would you do with your life if you could do absolutely anything and money nor education nor baggage nor what people would think were obstacles for you? What are some of your hopes and dreams for your family, your friends, your community, your church, your work? If we threw all of the “buts” out the window what would we grasp hold of and pursue?

What are the things that get in the way of that? What are some things we need to let go of in order to move forward and try to make our dreams into a reality?

These aren’t questions that you wrestle with for five minutes and than you’re good to go. Or maybe that works for you. I find that I have to intentionally pray and meditate and think and actually force myself to look and open my eyes and heart to the possibilities while telling my fears and frustration and failures to “shut it” for a few minutes so that I can see the light.

Because sometimes it feels like it’s a little too much. Actually sometimes it feels like it’s a lot too much. As excited as I was to move from 3 months to 6 months in the amount of MRI checks, there is a scared part of me that is nervous about that. What if that’s 3 months of something growing and us not doing something about it? I know that my doctors would never have let me go longer if I wasn’t ready to, but that’s what fears do…they somehow make it where even the things you want, you’re nervous about because you’re still feeling a way into a “new normal” or any kind of normal for that matter.

Then you go down the list of all of the people that have it so much worse than you and that things could be a million times more terrible….but that’s not comforting. I don’t want anyone to be going through anything like tumors or cancer or sickness and uncertainty of any kind. Does it mean that you’re thankful for all that God has done, is doing and will do? Sure. I have no idea what I would do without that. I need those times between me and God where I can say what I need to say and cry out and wrestle and not be censored by anyone.

We need time to sit and rest and be with God. We need time to let our fears and frustrations and disillusionment and grief go so that we can let new life spring forth not just in the midst of the weeds randomly despite everything, but in ways that we nurture and water and grow.

So I guess in this rambling post that may not be for anyone except for me writing and figuring this out – I need to find and make time to discern and be open to what God would have me do in this time and place, what God is calling my family to do, our community to do, Wesley to do. I need to trust that it’s okay that sometimes it’s a little too much and it can be heartbreaking and angering and discouraging and annoying. I need to realize that God is bigger than all of this – crazy dreams, long talks on benefits and pensions, things in my life playing up to my fears – and that God is with me and walking with me and comforting me each step of the way even when I want to bless the world and God out sometimes.

Abundance, Coveting, Faith, Gifts, Jesus, Light, Ministry, More, Romans

More or Less? Enough?

Posted on September 1, 2011 by narciejeter

Do you ever compare yourselves to others?

I think we all do it at one point or another. In some ways it gets better as you get older….or does it? It seems like it’s mostly outward comparisons – looks, nice car, awesome clothes, a perfect plus one. But then again it can also be inward comparisons. That person is so much (funnier, smarter, more personable, more extroverted, more centered, more…) than I am. Why do we see others as more and that naturally leading to us thinking that we are somehow less?

God gifts each of us in mighty ways and just because our “gift” isn’t the same as the next person’s, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less.

One of the texts for Sunday is Romans 13:8-14 and it speaks hugely to these desires of the flesh – this coveting – this jealousy.

There’s all sorts of thoughts that run through our heads on a daily basis. For me today some have been pretty small like it’s a bad hair day and maybe I should actually get a hair cut, that’s not my feet smelling up Wesley are they, or I wish I wasn’t so old and didn’t have aches and pains. Others strike to the heart…if only I could spend hours of leisure with my children so I can see how their first day of school went, one of my constants – I wish we had a yard even though I love our lovely town house so that our kids could play in the back, or that question that I hate coming up this time of year…the one about whether what I’m doing is good enough.

I don’t think it’s just pastors that feel this way. I’m sure it’s many in the work place or any who begin the lovely comparison dance. I love seeing other campus ministers post on facebook this time of year and it’s great being able to cheer them on and glean great ideas from them. I like the fellowship building of that and the collegiality. And although I truly am excited when things are going well and there are more folks coming to Christ and finding that essential community, if I were completely honest with myself, this also often brings a list of questions and worries to mind as well. Am I working hard enough? Do we have enough students? Are we going to have enough supporters or money coming in? Is the job enough to count as ministry? Why can’t we just rejoice with those and not have it automatically mean that something about us is less or not enough?

That’s the thing about ministry sometimes. We think that it’s all about us. Are we cool enough? Hipster enough (don’t get me started Mac people)? Funny enough? Spiritual enough? Know our Bible backwards and forwards enough? Do we have enough activities? Do we have a big enough crowd? Are we marketing ourselves well? It can drive you crazy.

Reality though is that God has gifted each of us and we’re not going to be all things to all people. Wesley is going to always be a place that emphasizes community and justice and following Christ – not just nice and clean but down and dirty. It is what it is. Narcie is not ever going to have unlimited energy, a nice and witty thing always to say, perfect patience with everyone even in the most random of requests or the poof of suddenly being turned into a hot male with skinny jeans, muscle shirts, the strategic tattoo and gelled hair. It ain’t happening.

I’m me. No less than anyone else. But all the more because of the One who has called us each by name. I don’t have to feel unworthy or ashamed or less than. I just have to trust the One who made me and created me as me. I am enough. You are enough. We are plenty. Isn’t a theology of abundance that much more life-giving than a theology of scarcity? It’s not that someone got our gift and since they took it, we can’t have it. It’s not that someone is doing so super well that there’s not enough for us.

We are enough. As Romans 13 verse 12 says, “Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light…” May we lay down the words of darkness that creep into our heads and our hearts and may we put on the armor of light that protects us and surrounds us and sees us through to the other side.

Andrew Ripp – You Will Find Me (speaks so well to these feelings – great song!)

Campus Ministry, Centering, Evangelism, God, Rest, Spirituality

Rest in God and Get Ready

Posted on August 24, 2011 by narciejeter

Published previously on the Faith on Campus blog on August 2nd – http://faithoncampus.com/ready-and-clinging-to-god/

This past week I gathered with a group of young clergy and as we were checking in with each other and I began to describe this time of year in the life of a campus minister I compared it to Advent or to an extended Holy Week in terms of the demand on one’s time and mental, physical, spiritual and emotional resources. We’ve heard the research about how critical and crucial the first few weeks are in terms of plugging students in and getting into their habit of the semester. There’s so much that goes into these first few weeks and it often feels like if you miss this first boat, you’re going to be stranded on the island with a few students that may have been hiding in the bushes, but you could be looking through the binoculars seeing what some of the other boats are doing and think wow, where did all the students go? Are we lost for the rest of the year? Do we measure up to “x” campus ministry? Should we have put more thought and planning into this? Is there any way we still have a chance to pull it all together?

We have to get out there and meet students and connect and invite and have those real, authentic interactions. You’ve got to take every opportunity (or at least send a student leader). If there’s a student org fair, you need to be there. If there’s a welcome cook out, you need to be there. If there’s a chance for you to reach out and connect students to your community through food or worship or playing corn hole (is that just in the South?) or tailgating at a football game or through a day of service or a mission project or whatever it may be – you need to be there. Ready. And with a smile. Not the creepy, too over eager kind, but the one that says I really want to get to know you and your story and here’s how you can feel plugged in here.

Going into my seventh year in campus ministry, you would think that maybe by now I would have figured out some sort of secret method to lure in students. It’s not so much a secret, but the planning and intentionality as well as the authentic and genuine interest is key because no one likes to see someone running around unprepared and frantic. Sure there are those times when things come together on the fly and the Spirit of God moves in powerful ways for it to look and feel seamless. Praise God for those moments. But there’s also a bar of excellence and quality that we have to have as professionals in campus ministry. It’s hard to take someone seriously when they have a bunch of great ideas, but those ideas never seem to come to fruition because you’re being pulled in so many directions.

I don’t know about you, but for me, where I am spiritually has a great deal to do with how I approach the beginning of the year. Where I am in my walk with God has a significant impact on how I or this ministry seem to fare in the gauntlet that is the beginning of the school year and whether it seems smooth or frantic. If I’m feeling exhausted, worn ragged and torn between family and campus ministry and preaching on Sundays and how we’re going to pay for all the beginning of the year hoopla – I can’t fully engage with new students or any students for that matter. There are so many missed opportunities and regrets and frustration when the “stuff” gets in the way of the heart of why we’re here and why we do what we do.

So, rest. Rest in God. Catch up on your sleep. Rest in the hope that you have made the preparations, that you have students and leaders and board members that are ready to help and that this is God’s. I have a post it note on my desk. As we have faced changes and challenges, it helps center me. As it gets lost in the piles that sometimes grow on my desk, I know that it’s time for me to shape up and get focused again. The post it says, “God has done this.” God has done this. God is doing this.

Often I feel like I get in the way of that. At other times I feel blessed beyond measure and in awe of how much God is in the midst. I didn’t write this to say that I have this giant cop out or loophole where I can not do any planning, preparation, or prayerful visioning and blame it all on God. Nope. But I can remind myself that it’s not all on my strength, personality, or how nice or smart or hipster or cool or attractive or funny I am. It’s not based on whether I’m a mac or a pc. It’s based on us going into these seasons of introductions, newness or renewal of relationships with the grace and passion and groundedness of the One who has called us to what we are to do in this time and in this place and who will be with us through the events that go super well and those that totally bomb and we vow never to do again.

My challenge to myself during this time is to yes, do the work. Get ready. Be prepared to hit the ground running during that beginning of the year crunch time. But also know and trust and feel that the Spirit of God is at work not only in our ministries but within each of us. God seeks to move in mighty and transformative ways on our campuses. God has done this and God is doing this and amazingly, we get to be a part of it!

Community, Faith, God's Providence, Grace, Healing, Health, Thankful, Theodicy, Tumor

Update on that Spongy thing inside my Noggin’

Posted on July 22, 2011 by narciejeter

I am completely slacking on blogs right now which breaks all the rules of regular blogging. Sorry about that! I’ll catch up soon. Right now I’m at a great conference and have tried to be as fully invested in it as possible, but there has been a part of me distracted. Some of you that began following this blog when I started writing after finding out that I had a brain tumor and you walked with me through that journey and the recovery and even though the blog has become a little bit something different, I do still want to give you an update on that good ole brain of mine because I believe that this community of support has been invaluable and really a holy presence in my life and I can’t imagine my life without your prayer and support.

I have been doing 3 month MRI and neurosurgeon check ups over the past year. For the most part, I try to keep moving with life and I give a sincere and concerted effort not to let these worries and fears rule over my life. Then comes the time when I get the envelope from Carolina Spine and Neurosurgery in the mail with all of my appointment times and as Mike and I see it, I can feel the background stress and tension in me and those I love. The unknown is so completely…humbling…scary…difficult. There’s so much to unpack there but that would be an incredibly long blog and mine are already probably way too long.

Last week I went to my (I don’t really care to remember how many its been now) whatevereth MRI and the techs were asking how I was doing and what I was there for, all that good stuff and I told them my hope that maybe this was the visit where I could be increased to every 6 months or every year instead of every 3 months.

On Monday I met with the neurosurgeon and he said that it was the radiologist’s opinion that the part of the tumor still up there in brain/motor cortex land may have grown slightly but that it was very slight. His opinion was that he didn’t see a change and disagreed with the radiologist. We then had a lovely back and forth where I looked at the comparison MRI’s myself and tried to understand and that I got a chance to ask some hard questions. Since Mike was not with me, I could ask some of the things that I want to know and would like to understand but that I don’t want to alarm, worry or hurt someone else by them hearing the questions or the answers. Does that make sense?

So even though it was not my most favorite news in the world, I was okay. My amazing doctor said he was going to take the tumor to the tumor board for them to decide if it had grown or not. I called Mike and my parents on the way home and was okay.

Primarily I was okay because I was leaving the next morning for a conference and I just didn’t have the emotional energy or the whatever to process it.

Yesterday afternoon while I was in a workshop, the doctor left a message and when I hear him say his name I immediately get a little freaked out on the inside even though he’s a fabulous doctor – like fabulous – but it’s just anxiety producing. But then he says an AMAZING thing – the tumor board doesn’t see any change. AND because this place on my lovely brain has stayed consistent this year, I get to stretch the time between MRI’s to 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I could probably mash exclamation points for a while on that one.) That may seem like a little thing, but it’s such an act of hope and grace and peace to me.

And though I didn’t shed a tear on Monday, I couldn’t stop crying off and on yesterday evening. Is that crazy? The bad news – I take it and I’m like let’s do this thing. The good news – I’m a basketcase. In talking with a dear friend and colleague about this last night I told her as I was trying to process and express my layers of feelings that I really needed to blog about this. For some odd, crazy reason this is how I started this journey – blogging. And it has been such a healing and cathartic piece or even peace for me. There’s something about putting it out there in writing and narrative that makes it something that I feel a little more grounded in. I guess we each have our mediums – whether it’s walking outside or making pottery or playing baseball or journaling. And I am thankful for this one.

In the midst of this I know that there are those walking incredibly hard and deep and heartbreaking journeys right now. I think of the family members that are living this reality right now and the friends and loved ones who have faced challenges that I know not of. Please do lift up in prayer those who are in the midst of the struggle of the unknown and in this thin place where anger and fear and sadness and grief and life and death and joy and pain are so close to the surface at times. Each of us walks this journey at times.

And we’re not alone.

I have seen Christ in the colleagues that I’ve shared with here and that continue to uplift and inspire and challenge and hold me accountable. I have seen Christ in my family who continue to battle for me. I have seen Christ in the countless people that continue to tell me they’re praying for me or those that just give me space to be…and to feel…and to just cry or laugh or talk about it or not talk about it. I have seen Christ when I’m by myself and I am vulnerable and just laid bare as a child of God. Although there is no doubt that I would not have chosen for this piece of the puzzle of life, I have felt Christ’s Spirit and promise more tangibly and have felt the Body of Christ more profoundly and genuine than I have felt in my life.

I am grateful for a community of people that I can keep it real with on the sad days and the angry days and the joyous days and the rock and roll days. I am grateful for a Savior who continues to be that Great Redeemer and Strong Protector and just that Amazing Grace who support us and girds us up in mighty, mighty ways.

So that’s my brain.

And one of the awesome things – 6 MONTHS!!!!!

Grace and peace to all of you. I am gratefu for you all.

Campus Ministry, Christian, Faith, Students

Duck, No Eye Contact, Run, Run Away

Posted on June 23, 2011 by narciejeter

It’s that time of year in campus ministry world when we’re enjoying Orientation. What that means at Winthrop is that we as all of the campus ministries (WCCM – Winthrop Cooperative Campus Ministries) come together and greet people at one table and provide brochures and info about all the groups. We also let students know about the campus ministry open house and worship service for freshmen that we do right after they move in. Good times. A great way for people to get connected and meet other people of faith.

What is always amusing to me is the interactions with the students. As soon as they read the sign on the placard behind me that says “Campus Ministries” some quickly look away and move quickly to the Greek Life table or the Study Abroad table or the DSU (Campus Entertainment/Activities/Awesomeness) table. As parents read the sign though it’s funny to watch them often nudge their child and say, “Look campus ministries. We should go over there.” And the students that then pull them in another direction or say Mo-om or Da-ad, in that lovely two syllable exasperated way many of us Southerners have. I can tell you that 9 times out of 10, that when a parent walks up to our table and signs their student up and the student is no where to be found or the student is standing impatiently behind the parent or grandparent hoping that they’ll just sign them up and be done with it – we’ll never see that student. Sometimes it happens. Rarely. But that’s the thing about college – it’s on the student/young adult/person making their way on their own.

Two things happened today that were thought-provoking for me. The first was a lady who stopped and got a card. Her child wasn’t with her but she said that she wanted her to be involved with campus ministry. She said that her daughter had never been involved in church and hadn’t ever really been inside one except for funerals and she really wished she would get involved. She then said that the girl was dating a nice Christian boy that goes to church and she was hoping that maybe she would start going.

The other was a guy who walked up to the table and I smiled at home and he’s reaching his hand out to shake mine and I’m about to give him a WCCM card that has our website info with all of the campus ministries listed, and he reads the placard above my head that says “Campus Ministries” and then quickly jerks his hand back and says that’s okay. I don’t need one of those cards. Ouch, dude.

It’s just really funny dynamics. Some are super excited to hear about campus ministry on campus and this new church experience. Some of our strongest leaders at Wesley are people I met at Orientation or at the beginning of the year Open House. But I do wonder about all of the ones that cringe and walk away.

I ate lunch in the student center yesterday with the Dean of Students who is also our Board Chairperson. She stopped to talk to some of the Orientation Assistants and I joined her. At the end of the conversation she introduced me as the United Methodist Campus Minister. As we were walking away afterwards, she asked if I had noticed how they blinked and paused. She’s a campus minister? Who knows what they were thinking? I had seen a few of them before but didn’t know any of them.

There’s so much rich ground to cover here – what is the perception of the Church today? What do these young adults think of when they hear campus ministry? I have the feeling that some of them think I’m going to make them walk over to the West Center and jump in the pool so I can baptize them right there. The mixed bag of looks from relief and joy and hope at finding a community to apprehension, mistrust and all sorts of things. It’s interesting.

I’m curious whether more or less students would stop at religious affiliated tables in different parts of the country. It’s always fun to see which denominational affiliation stops by or the increase in how many people check non-denominational.

My primary question today though, in the midst of the news covering Koran burnings, church trials, and the like – what does this new class think of when they hear the word “Christian”? What do they think of in the importance of finding a community of faith while in college? Are they going to stay connected to their churches back home and just take a break for awhile? What does it mean to be Church? What are the differences and similarities in how we would define that?

Death, Faith, Fear, God's Providence, Grace, Healing, Hope, Jesus, Methodism, Music, Spirit, Trust, Tumor, United Methodist Church

Tears

Posted on June 14, 2011June 14, 2011 by narciejeter

Annual Conference this year was both a whirlwind and a marathon. Busy-ness or business was everywhere and it was both challenging and inspiring, a call to action and a test of will as we waited/persevered to the end.

I’m starting to think I’ve become more and more emotional as I grow older. There were several times over this past week when I felt tears come to my eyes. Some of those times were times of happiness and thanksgiving – feeling the Spirit move as Telley preached at Annual Conference, Josh’s ordination, the prayerful and powerful way our South Carolina delegation laid hands on Dad and prayed over him after unanimously deciding he would be our episcopal nominee. There were so many great moments from the teaching to the preaching to the videos shared like this:

It was also a great time to camp out for Imagine No Malaria and to train some amazing Students In Mission (SIM) to commit their summers to being in mission = ministry with. Much to be joyful about!

Sometimes the tears were both thankful and a little bit of just overwhelming gratitude. It was surreal being back at Annual Conference this year. Last year, I came in for two days right before the brain surgery and although some probably thought I was insane for coming, for me, it was my church. The conference – both lay and clergy – are our people and that’s where we as a body share our joys and concerns. I didn’t realize going into this how much being back at conference would bring up for me in terms of last year’s struggle.

We sang the song, “In Christ Alone” during the opening worship and those words and all of us a large body singing together was such a powerful witness and testimony to the love and providence of God. (A video and lyrics are below.) I’m glad we also sang this song during the ordination. What a powerful song for our commissioned members and ordinands.

My mom’s birthday is June 11th and the brain surgery (left frontal craniotomy) was on her birthday last year. There’s a part of me that would love to forget that date and not have any mark or reminder of it. There’s another part of me that knows that it was everyone’s prayers and the grace of God that brought me through and it should be celebrated. Don’t know which one is winning yet. The jury is still out. I get teary just typing about it. Does that mean I haven’t fully dealt with it yet? Could be. Too soon? Maybe, but not entirely. Does that mean that was a mucho grande big deal and it’s still crazy to me that all of that happened a year ago and wasn’t just a bad dream? Yes. It’s hard to believe that that was me and if I didn’t have my lovely scar that I worry about getting sunburned, I might forget.

It’s hard to process things. There’s a certain grief and emotion that swells up when you least expect it sometimes. And it happens to all of us. I was sitting in the Memorial Service for ministers that have gone to be with God over the past year on Mom’s birthday on the anniversary of my brain surgery and I just couldn’t do it. I got through the sermon but the slide show of the pictures just did me in. It’s always been a powerful service to me since in my mind the South Carolina Annual Conference is my home/my church and I know that one day there will be a service for each of us. And there goes a Sandi Patti song and slides of the pastor that helped during my Gandaddy’s funeral and I have to head on out. Even in the midst of the thanksgiving for life, even in the midst of the joy of the swelling of the Spirit, even in the midst of realizing that nothing can pluck any of us from God’s hand – there’s still both the realization that something really scary and really serious happened and a something that’s even beyond the word thanksgiving that describes that depth of feeling behind all that could have been and is now.

As I think about those that have faced such devastation in the storms and floods this year, those that have lost loved ones, those that are facing moves and transitions, those that are searching for hope and a rock to lean on when it feels like the walls are closing in around you – I know that the great Comforter is at work in our world and is blowing, inspiring and surrounding us every step of the way. I am grateful that it is in Christ alone our hope is found and that we will never be turned away from it. It’s available to each of us.

What are you grieving today? What are your struggles? When’s the last time you felt that ground swell of emotion? How do we see the Spirit at work in our world? What are the fears and frustrations that we’ve held on to and not given over to God? What are those buttons of grief that can be turned in to sources of joy in our lives?

We are given songs or videos or movies or sermons or scriptures or friends or emails or a beautiful tree or the melody of the ocean or the stillness and quiet to claim as our promise from God. It’s there waiting for us. May we open ourselves to the Word God would speak to us this day. May we claim it and know it and feel it to the depths of our souls. May we know and trust.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin?s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

I will stand, I will stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground, all other ground
Is sinking sand, is sinking sand
So I stand