Author: narciejeter

Posted in Books, Culture, Faith, Movies, Sermons

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Posted on by narciejeter

I have been totally slacking on the blog but things have been busy, busy!  This summer I started reading Sophie Kinsella/Madeline Wickham books.  I admit that I’m a little of a book fanatic but it takes me a while to find an author I like and then I’m all in.  I read her Twenties Girl in an airport in May and have loved her books ever since.  They really should make a movie on Can You Keep a Secret?  Hilarious and priceless.

Anyway, even though I love her writing, I have been hesitant to begin the Shopaholic series.  Not because it doesn’t look cute and yes, I know about the movie, but I’ve never seen it.  I just saw that there was a whole series – Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, Shopaholic and Sister, Shopaholic and Baby…wowzers.  As a sometimes, if it’s the beginning of the month and there’s still a little bit of money in the account, shopaholic – I knew that starting to read these would just feed that shopaholic tendency and I was correct.  When I first preached a sermon about this two weeks ago I had only gotten the first book and read it but now I’m all the way to Shopaholic and Baby and I don’t even entirely know how I got there but they were just so good!

The lectionary has been following 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy a good bit over the past couple of weeks and I’ve enjoyed looking at those texts and pondering them.  Paul’s instructions to Timothy are both practical and full of love.  He’s not just mentoring Timothy in a hands-off let me tell you what to do way, he’s actually being honest and truthful about highs and lows and good and bad with him.

In 1 Timothy 6:6-19, the thing that stood out the most to me was this talk of contentment.  Contentment is one of those things that people long for and try all sorts of things to attain, but it often can feel a little elusive as well.  There’s just something about that Shopaholic tendency or that joy from a purchase especially if it’s on clearance or buy 1 get 1 free – something about that feeling of satisfaction that gives us that momentary satisfaction of feeling like heck yeah, I just got something really fabulous and now I feel good about myself – where I am and who I am.  And it’s something that we sadly can pass down.  Enoch, our 3 year old, now can ask for Target by name – and that is a sad, sad thing.  I don’t want him to just be looking for the next shiny toy.

There’s so much in our society that supports this thinking – from The Secret craze – the law of attraction that we can will things into being if we believe them and call them towards us.  Or even things in a Christian context – like the Prayer of Jabez craze less than a decade ago.  There’s something about these mindsets if you just believe enough, if you just do blank enough then x, y, z will happen and your life will be perfect. 

But it just doesn’t seem to always work like that.  Or maybe it just does for Oprah.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you will something to be so, or how much you want something – it ain’t happening.  Stuff is not permanent.  These things that we’re grasping for are not permanent.  Even the very cute purple pocketbook that I got on sale at Target and am holding out to use because it is adorable – is not permanent.  It will tear up and be filled up with junk and worn out just like all of my other pocketbooks.

Paul is asking Timothy to think about wants versus needs.  We all know Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – like basic human needs such as shelter, food, etc. to more advanced emotional needs like self-esteem, respect and creativity.  One of the students last week was writing a paper for her psychology class and it was all about what shapes one’s personality.  In many ways she was asking – where do we find contentment?  Who tells us who we are?  Who do we listen to?  Whether it’s parents or friends or peer group or media or whatever – who tells us we’re okay.

I had another student yesterday email me questions for one of her classes about style and appearance.  I admit this took me by surprise.  The questions asked about daily beauty routines, how long these things took, and what products did you use.  It also asked about how celebrities or media affected these decisions.  I admit, when I thought about it – there are some days I am lucky if my hair gets brushed and there’s no make up and just trying to survive and get the kids dressed.  But then there are other days – board meeting days, days when I know I’ll see people other than my loving students and on those days I do try to take a shower, pick out my clothes well, and put on some make up.  Her last question struck me though – what is your self-esteem without make up and style and what is your self-esteem with it?

What determines how we feel about ourselves?  What determines if we are satisfied with our lives?  Where do we get this elusive contentment?  For the shopaholics out there, you can’t buy contentment in any store.  Sadly you can’t even order it on Amazon.  It’s not that it’s sold out, it’s just not for sale.

Billy Graham asked people to take out their checkbooks and then said, “A checkbook is a theological document; it will tell you who and what you worship.”  That is scary.  Or maybe it’s not for some of you.  There aren’t many things that we buy that we don’t need or is not a basic utility or food but yes, there is an iced white chocolate from The Coffee Shack on my desk right now.  It’s delicious.  It’s supporting a local business.  It probably has calories out the wazoo but who cares – there’s caffeine.  And I need this drink today.  We’re going to a protest later on behalf of some amazing women in Nicaragua – and I need the energy.  I need this sugary goodness.  I need this instantaneous gratification that’s only going to last me a few more sips.  That’s throwing around a lot of “needs.”

What is the deal with that?  How do we trick ourselves into thinking/manipulating/justifying/rationalizing these things in our minds?  Paul is not giving Timothy a recommendation for happiness here, but he’s talking about being content.  Having “enough.”  What does enough look like to you?  If you were like the guy/girl in the movie Leap Year and the fire alarm went off – what would you grab?  What really does make you happy – not just for a moment but forever?  What makes you even more than just happy – but content?  Family?  Friends?  A job you love?  Volunteering where you feel alive?  What is it?  I hope that Enoch knows and that his Mommy knows that life is much more than the next purchase and that spending an afternoon playing fireman or school bus or hiding in the tent or going to the “choo choo” park or “big” park is priceless.

How do we get past the hugely loud message being played back to us from all sides that we have to have ______ to be satisfied?  That we have to have ______ for a meaningful existence?

Our first commandment is to love God.  And as Christians we’re not just giving and sharing and opening up to our neighbors what we have just because they’re our neighbors and that’s what we’re called to do – we’re sharing from our abundance because we love God.  We love the One who calls us each by name and says that God’s love is more than enough for each of us.

Do you spend each week waiting for the carrot at the end?  Do you say to yourself well when _____ happens, then I’ll be able to do _______.  If I could make a little more money than I could give to x, y, z.  When I pay off such and such, then I’ll be able to….  When I’m not so busy, then I’ll sit down and ask myself – what in my life really brings about this joy that can’t be taken away by chance or circumstance? 

Sometimes we lose our way.  Sometimes we lose ourselves.  Sometimes we lose sight of what we have and the blessings that have been bestowed upon us in the abundant life that Christ gives each of us.  Jim Elliot wrote in his journal, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”

God is faithful to us – even when we crash.  Even when our priorities are topsy turvy and our checkbook is blaringly obvious upside down.  Who’s approval are we seeking?  Friends, co-workers, parents, supervisors, “those” people – or are we striving after the Gospel of our Lord who spurs us forth giving us all the reassurance in the world that we are children of God and that is more than enough?  We have to be those supports for one another.  One thing I’ve learned even from reading this crazy Shopaholic series – sometimes you have to say a strong but loving word to someone.  We need those people that can call us out – in love and grace – but calling out nonetheless.  We need people to say – hey – what are you doing?  What really matters?

May we continue the journey of discovering who we are in God’s eyes and being sure in that.  May we also pick up and love our fellow journeyers as we all walk this road together, remembering that we’re not just called to the lost and the poor around the world, but to those in our communities right beside us who are struggling and looking for answers.  May God be faithful in our searches that gives us satisfaction and contentment much more than any fancy pocketbook, awesome car, or even the perfect ______.

Here’s Toby Mac’s “Get Back Up.”

God loves us no matter what and gives us the Word and direction we need…..even when we don’t know where to turn and we’re wondering what in the heck happened.

Here’s Kerrie Roberts, “No Matter What”….

Posted in Campus Ministry, Faith, Life, Young Adults

So they’re laughing at our clothes..and it’s barely been a decade.

Posted on by narciejeter

Two of our lovely Wesley girls going through some of my scrapbooks from college as they are sitting in my office right now.  They are laughing at our fashion (which I don’t think was all that different) and our giant computers and the craziness of what they remember of Y2K. 

Times have changed a lot.  Hello facebook, twitter, blogs, and all of the other trends in fashion, entertainment, etc.  But in many ways – things haven’t changed all that much.  College students still have awesomely awesome days when they run in jumping up and down about new friends or finding the right major or studying abroad or joining a sorority or getting that internship or part-time job they’ve been working for or at Winthrop especially finding the right guy or girl.  College students also have craptacular days as well.  Especially with facebook statuses, you can see the low points and even in the midst of our still lack of air conditioner at this point, they’re still choosing to hang out here even on the bad days.

I loved my college experience here.  There were good days and bad….and according to them some bad hair and fashion choices, but it was a time of discovery and growth and awakening like no other.  This time in young adulthood is so critical in this important work of figuring out self and world and community and faith.  There was a quote I saw the other day from Keating saying, “‘Discovery’ is usually about something that is outside us. ‘Awakening’ is about something that is inside us-that is already there.”

I like that.  Isn’t that’s what our journey through life is.  This process of awakening to all that is inside of us and discovering the possibilities that await us in the world.  There is a world of possibilities both for us to discover and awaken to.  Y’all know that famous and oft quoted saying by Harold Whitman, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  Awaken to what is inside you – to the God given passions and gifts and graces inside of you and let the world catch that light!

My parents brought me a box of “memory stuff” as I had written on the box, from my grandparent’s house on Saturday and in looking through it I found some hilarious stuff – a time capsule that some of us made in college – talk about random, a mixed cd, a poem I wrote as an “Ode to Waffle House” in college.  Talk about trip down memory lane.  As I listened to the cd in the car yesterday, circa 1999 – it was back when napster was big and random songs abounded – I thought about this process of awakening and discovery and how it’s not just something for young adults or teenagers or college students.

This awakening and discovery is a lifelong process that is something we all can relate to.  You’re never too old or too young to figure out what your life’s passion is or what this part of your life’s passion is.  We’re never completely lost or boxed in or corralled past the point of being able to open ourselves anew to the possibilities before us.  It’s not always easy work and it’s often dirty and hard-thinking work, but it’s worth it.

So yes these scrapbooks and these boxes of “junk” or “treasure” you make the pick – they’re funny and embarassing and they show someone trying to discover who she is from movie tickets to newspaper articles to pictures to that completely random time capsule.  But I am thankful for the ride.  For the good days and the bad days, for the awakenings and discoveries both challenging and freeing, for the friends and confidantes and family not just by blood but by life, that have traveled through.

My hope for myself, for my students, and for each of us is that we continue to awaken, we continue to discover, we continue to ask the Spirit of God to dwell within in and among us as we see both the absolutely ordinary and the completely radical with possibilities open for each of us.

To show you how random we were…some of the music….Hansen’s MmmmBop of course and Hello World by Belle Perez – very important when Felicity cut off her hair after breaking up with Ben.

You gotta love Des’ree’s You Gotta Be…

Posted in Health, Tumor

No Negative is Positive

Posted on by narciejeter

So that’s what the doctor said today.  No negative change is positive news.  Mike and I went to see Dr. Smith today and he showed us the scans.  I like to have visuals so I’m glad he showed them to us.  There’s still a bright part that could be scar tissue, swelling or still some of the tumor – but as Mike said – there’s no new players in the band.  Ie. there are no new negative things.  So that is good!

Mike started asking a lot of questions in typical deep voice, serious form and Dr. Smith responded, “Right…you’re the questions guy.”  That was funny.  He asked why the image still looked like that with like a hole there and he said that I would never have another normal looking brain MRI again.  The brain doesn’t grow back and the tumor was in part of the brain matter so therefore some of it is gone.  Very little though.  Ridiculously I was taking it very personally that Mike was talking about my brain and part of it not being there even though I know I’m still me and I’m okay.  Anyway, the funniest thing of the afternoon – Mike says well we only use a small percentage of our brains anyway, and Dr. Smith says something along the lines of well she didn’t really need that part anyway.  Yay!

Mike is excited by all of this news!  No negative change is a positive report.  We’ll keep doing MRI’s every 3 months for awhile and we’ll see what happens.  Dad on the phone earlier asked what could have made the news perfect?  Well that my brain is normal of course.  That it’s not always going to look like that on an MRI.  That there’s no bright smudgy line that’s still there.

But hey – I’ll take “No negative is positive” any day of the week.  This paired with some folks dropping off some paper towels as donations to Wesley – have made the day sunny again – and even in my un-air conditioned building – that is good.

Posted in Campus Ministry, Community, Health, Music, Prayers, Suffering

It’s been hopping

Posted on by narciejeter

If I’m ever not blogging it’s because I’m swamped or maybe even more than I’d like to admit – I’m afraid to “voice” something.  A friend of mine who I love commented on my facebook a few weeks ago when she heard about the campus ministry funding cut – something along the lines of “feeling like Job lately?”

Don’t want to go there because I’m not asking for any other challenges headed this way, but after going to Presbyterian’s Ballantyne office for the MRI yesterday I returned to Wesley to find that our air conditioner has officially passed on to the other side.  When there’s an explosion and smoke and then the awesomely amazing Adams Services guy shows you wires burned in two and half the thing on the inside is black and no fans are moving – that’s not a good sign.

It’s an even worse feeling when he has to bring in the “big guns,” ie. the owner of the company to give me the bad news that it’s good and gone and they can’t rig it up any other way.  The thing worked hard for us so I am thankful for that.  I’m also thankful that it’s not too hot so far today and no one tell the Wesley students that there won’t be a/c tonight – we’ll make do and I want them to still come!

I couldn’t sleep for a long time last night trying to figure out where in the world we’re going to get $8,000-$11,000 for an air conditioner and even more importantly for the winter – the heat pump so that it’s not just straight up gas heat.  I looked up grants and wow that us.gov sight is a monstrosity of crazy info.  I know that somehow, someway we’ll come up with the money to make this happen.  Somehow we always do and I know that God and the people that support this ministry are faithful.

For the past two days Mike has been recording with Tom Conlon in the worship/fellowship room at Wesley.  Many have said this room’s acoustics are like magic and even without AC, the magic room came through.  In walking up to the building this morning and rolling up the trash cans and recycle bins I began to ask myself why do I care about this building so much?  Why do I care about this space?  In the sceme of things what does it really matter?  When there’s bills to pay and things to repair – what stops us from just chucking it all?

My answer is both simple and sincere.  There is magic that happens here.  Tears are rolling down my face just thinking about it which makes me either really sappy or beyond emotional.  This is not a Harry Potter kind of magic but one that happens when community is formed and shaped and grows and changes and is found.  This building is so much more than just a building to me because both as a student and as a campus minister I have witnessed the powerful things that have happened here.  We have shared much laughter and some tears, we have shared in worship and I have seen someone’s call to ministry unfold at an Ash Wednesday service, we have cooked dinner as family and have hung out as friends.  This is part of what the students mean when they talk about Wesley being a home away from home. 

Yesterday after getting back from the MRI I talked to a student who has been coming here for 2 and a half years to use the prayer room several times a week.  He’s only been to one Wesley night but he comes and uses the prayer room as often as he can.  Yesterday he stopped me in the hall and said thank you for us providing this space for him and for people just to come and be.

I think about the student groups and the gospel choirs and the other campus ministries that use this place and how this building and the things that it stands for and witnesses to is greater than we know.  Yes it is just a building – with windows that aren’t the greatest, an exterior paint job that needs some help, and a vacant lot that is probably one of the worst parking lots imaginable – but it is ours and it is home to both the sacred and the sacrilege – the holy and the profane – the mysterious divine and the completely human.

So we’re going to somehow make this work.  Somehow.  By the grace of God and a lot of prayer and hopefully some creative solutions.

Today at 1:15 pm we’ll go to the neurologist and see what’s up.  Do I think a tumor has grown back?  Nope.  Was I very tempted to ask the MRI folks yesterday?  Heck yes.  Am I apprehensive?  Sure.

Ann Curry tweeted this this morning – “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elizabeth Kubler Ross

The only way I see this beauty is through the eyes of the community that surrounds us.  We get to the other side by the grace of God, the One who sustains us, and those that God has joined with us on this journey.  As I wait and hear what’s up today and as I begin trying to figure out that ever lovely money question for air conditioners and programming and all that Wesley jazz – I am thankful for the arms that cradle each of us in both the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the joy and the loss.

I’ll leave you with a song that Tom Conlon played at Wesley a few weeks ago.  Love this song.  It’s called “Leaning”…

Here’s his “Sacred Things”

Posted in Campus Ministry, Money, Thankful

Thankful

Posted on by narciejeter

It has been a long, long, very long day.  And yes, we are watching The Tudors again.  Can’t wait to see the Emmy’s tomorrow though…love Jimmy Fallon and definitely want to pull for some folks!

Worship was good this morning, but I admit I nearly choked up saying outloud our news about conference program money.  It’s good to say it outloud.  That makes it real and then we begin to work towards being proactive and not just reactive.

I finally worked up the energy to write to our board members and to some fellow alum and at dinner tonight I told the students about our new opportunity.  I thought I could make it at least the night without telling them – especially since this was our first worship, but at dinner I told them.  We had a good discussion about how we could cut costs and the things that they definitely wanted to keep and that was encouraging.  They were ready to help and all of us I think are ready to see what we can do.

I was also encouraged by a recent graduate who just entered grad school telling me, “I’m going to see how much of my paycheck I can give to Wesley every month.  Other students deserve the same experience that I had with Wesley.”  I was encouraged by the words of a dear, dear friend who was a part of Wesley when it was WNW with me.

“To the old Wesley Crew –

 Narcie – Thank you for sharing this unfortunate news with us all.  As we continue to struggle through this “recession” many nonprofits are losing support from their normal revenue streams.  On a positive note it is an opportunity to seek out new opportunities for funding and partnership.

After reading Narcie’s note I couldn’t help but reflect on my time at Wesley.  I think all of us on this list that are alumni think fondly of our time together.  Wesley gave us home away from home, a place to spend time with other students that were interested in grace and love.  I am forever grateful for the opportunities that Wesley afforded me as a student.  From the experiences of providing hope to those who needed it most to enjoying tons of laughs with friends, Wesley made an indelible mark on my life.

That being said I am pledging to make monthly donations to the Winthrop Wesley Foundation so that currents students can have the same opportunities that we did.  I want the students that are apart of Wesley now to be able to be fans of miracles, mercy, humility, grace and hope and they need our help to make that possible.

I do hope all of you will join me in true reflection on the importance of Wesley in your life and commit to making a monthly gift in support of its mission.”

I am thankful for the passion I saw in the students this evening around the dinner table.  I am thankful for my recent grads who are starting out but are already looking to help the next generation and I am thankful for the dear friends who like me, still to this day feel the forever imprints of our time spent in campus ministry.

Thanks to all of you for the prayers!  Tomorrow will be time for setting up paypal accounts, newsletter writing, and evaluating our budget and ministry! 

These Tudors really are crazy…

Posted in Campus Ministry, Entertainment, God's Providence, Money, Thankful

Money, money, money

Posted on by narciejeter

I think it was in the first couple seasons of The Apprentice that they always played the, “Money, money, money” song that played at the beginning.  In looking at the lectionary texts this week, I actually liked them all.  But I’ve mostly been in Hebrews lately and I have never really preached it very much so I decided to stick with there.

The text is Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16 and it’s a lot of instruction and wise counsel.  Mike and I have been watching The Tudors recently.  We’ve finished season 1 and have begun season 2.  Wow.  In so many ways times have changed!  It is amazing to me how far the rights of women have come from those days.  Mike spends much of the shows saying, “They were really like that?”  Sadly, yes.  There’s a ton of lies, betrayal, power hungry insanity, and since it’s on Showtime – sex.  Wow is it crazy.  We’ve been watching an episode a night and I think that’s the main reason I was drawn to this tet.

This passage is the absolute opposite of this royal debauchery.  It talks about showing hospitality to strangers, remembering those in prison, marriage being held in honor and then closing out with “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”  These are very different instructions than how the Tudors acted even though they loved to throw the name of God and what “God’s will” is around all over the place.

It speaks a great deal to us all.  In reading this earlier in the week and in thinking on it the past couple days, the part about money wasn’t something that leaped out to me anymore than the rest of it.  Then this morning I go to our biannual Conference Board of Higher Education and Campus Ministry meeting and I find out that not only will we at Winthrop Wesley Foundation not receive any program money for 2011 as we were told a week and a half ago, but now we are no longer going to receive any other program funds for the rest of 2010.  So no check coming in September in the thankful income column, but plenty of expenses still going out.  Eek! is about the most nice, censored thing I can say…

But then tonight I read this text again abd I see verse 5 “Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have; for he has said ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.'”  I don’t know if I would say I loved the program money we received from the conference.  In actuality it only made up 15% of our program money receipts.  But I would definitely say that I depended on it.  In the lean months when nothing from churches or sweet giving folks is coming in, I knew that we would receive that money from the Annual Conference and we could pay the light bill.  And that is a very good thing.  So although I don’t know if I “loved” the money we got, I was incredibly thankful we received it. 

But you know times they are a changing, and we live in a different world and economic time.  So it is what it is and it’s now time to move forward and trust that God is with us and will provide for us.  We step out in faith and trust that God will provide.  The semester is planned and commitments made and we’ll see how it all works out in the midst.  I trust that it will.  No amount of stressing is going to help, but boy it’s time to shake the bushes and get some money raised!

Again, God amazes me in giving us the Word we need when we need it.  Even in the midst of the unknown and the uncertainty and the obvious fear, there are tremendous opportunities and new and bold paths to explore and step out in.  I am weary thinking about the work ahead, but I’m excited to see new partners in ministry and the chance to vision anew as we as always try to do more, with less.

Money.  Power.  Intrigue.  Definitely more the world of the Tudors than campus ministry.  But hey – we all need a little instruction and reminders about where our hearts need to be and who are faith is in.  Still not sure what I’m preaching about tomorrow exactly, but often this sound instruction speaks for itself.

Posted in affliction, Campus Ministry, Faith, Health, Music, perseverance, Tumor, U2

So in reading about afflictions…

Posted on by narciejeter

Affliction is such a yuck word.  Don’t you think?  Affliction.  Doesn’t sound good at all?  I just googled it and did you know there’s an Affliction clothing line?  Why in the world would you want “Affliction” clothing?

The Upper Room this morning was on 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.  It begins with, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.”

I wrote about the race earlier and about perseverance and some of our afflictions sure do take some perseverance.  This is the first week of school at Winthrop and could arguably be one of our busiest weeks of the year.  We’ve been doing our thing here at Wesley and things are going pretty well – it’s great meeting new people and love, love, love connecting and catching up with our returning Wesley folks!

But this is tiring….and draining….and so many more depleting adjectives.  It doesn’t seem like it’s just student life, but everywhere it seems that folks are tired right about now as we all get into the swing of a school year.

I admit that at times I am frustrated – I can’t remember things I used to.  I am really tired and the typical adrenaline boost is not kicking in.  I just can’t gear up for this right now – the energy reserves are not there.  I also finally got the letter scheduling the next MRI and surgeon’s appointment – September 14th MRI and September 15th the brain surgeon.

I’d like to think that I can do this normal welcome back wohoo wesley thing no problem and the same as always, but if I’m honest with myself – it’s not the same.  I can’t run around like a crazy person and not feel those affects.  Humbling.  Frustrating.  Frightening.  Freeing?

We get so caught up in a numbers game – so caught up in how much can we produce?  Who is coming to Wesley?  How many?  Who showed up for church on Sunday? How much money is our company making?  What did we do today?  There’s such a focus on numbers and what we do that we forget to just be and that we don’t have to do it all.  I write that, but do I mean that?  Josh and I were talking about numbers and church/Wesley/what is the crazy thing called ministry stuff this week and I know that when pastors say we shouldn’t focus on the numbers, that can sometimes mean they’re just using that as a justification for the size of the body of folks that they work with.  But sometimes I really do question numbers…is that all that there is to say that you’re doing something?  Do we get so caught up in proving that something is happening at our churches or in our classes or in our workplaces or in our lives that we miss the blessings and consolations that God gives us along the way?  Or do we miss being those blessings and consolations to others because we’re more concerned about the to-do lists and keeping up with “that” family or company or church or whatever?

I wonder what would happen if we didn’t just feel frustrated by some of these things that seem to limit us or tie us down but we could flip that and feel the freedom from the endless search for perfection and the chance to claim even our inabilities, sufferings, and crud for the grace and strength of God?  I can believe that at the beginning of the day reading the Upper Room.  It’s harder to believe at the end of a day wondering where it all went and how the list never gets shorter.

Maybe we just need to give ourselves a break…

U2’s “Walk On” is on my itunes dj right now.  Maybe that’s what we do from all the things that can weigh us down – we walk on.  Some of our afflictions may go with us, but we can trust that God is with us and we walk on.

“Leave it behind
You’ve got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme…”

Posted in calling, Music, Vocation

Beautiful Things

Posted on by narciejeter

I admit that Mike and I are a bit obsessed with Gungor at present.  I really, really enjoy their music and their “God is Not a White Man” video is hilariously awesome.  youtube it.

A couple Sundays ago I played their song, “Beautiful Things” in church and because I just couldn’t get it out of my head and I also think it’s something that is really important for us to “get,” we played it again this past Sunday.  The text was Jeremiah 1:4-10 and it’s where Jeremiah is saying “Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy…” And God responds saying hey – I’ve got this.  Don’t just tell me the I’m only’s because I’ll send you where I need you to go and I’ll give you the words to speak.  I’ve got this therefore – you’ve got this.

During Salkehatchie for many years when the camp director would give out t-shirts, he would place the t-shirts like a mantle over the youth or adult leaders necks and he would say “God is counting on you” or “The Lord is counting on you” and then your response would be “I am counting on God” or likewise. 

For me this was always a little bit an uneasy thing.  Maybe the t-shirts were heavy – just kidding.  But I guess I felt the weight of the statement that we were saying.  Now there’s a part of me that says – hey God is God – God doesn’t need us to do anything – God can do anything God wants.  But there’s another side that says – but God called us – we are to be in on this awesome partnership with God.  We are the agents for change that with the Spirit of God are called to bring God’s kingdom to earth.

Weighty.

I think of the Mercy Me song – “Word of God Speak.”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTY-UKgLlXs 

Love that song.  Great to help quelch some fears and very true.

But sometimes this fear of being called to this place.  This fear of speaking out in truth and love.  This fear of stepping up to anything can rob us of so much…much more than we realize.  And let me tell you – we pastors fear these things too.  I’m sure professors and great presenters and presidents and congresspeople and all sorts of folks – feel a great deal of fear when they step up to the mic.  How can you not?

But we in this partnership with God – we can trust that we’ll have the words to speak when we need them.  God will come through for us.  If we open ourselves up to the leading of God, God won’t leave us hanging.  I’m calling this a partnership even though I completely realize that what we bring to the table and what God brings to the table are two totally different things and we only bring stuff at all to the table by the grace of God.  But I also say it’s a partnership because we are active and alive and crucial to this spreading of the Gospel – the spreading of the Word of God. 

In seminary I took this class with Dr. Brian Mahan called “Forgetting Ourselves On Purpose” or FOOP for short.  He wrote a book by the same name.  We also read Parker Palmer’s “Let Your Life Speak” in this class and I enjoyed both of them.  For some of us we are so concerned about what our life will say – we’re so concerned about our book sales, our successes, our failures, etc. that we get lost in the mix.  We’re so scared that we won’t measure up or be good enough that we lose ourselves and the whole point of all this in the process.

Zechariah 4:6 says, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord.”  This dance that we’re doing with God – it’s not by our own abilities, it’s by the Spirit of God at work in us.  It’s not based on who has lived what’s seemed like the “best” life, but it is based on the grace of God that is alive and well in us.

One of the students at Wesley last night said that she asked a friend of hers from high school to come to Wesley with her.  They were working on in the gym – no big deal – just come on over with me.  And she said the girl told her that if she went, people would laugh at her.  The student of mine told her – no one there will laugh at you, it will be great…and then the girl told her, no not them.  If I tell my family I’ve gone to Wesley, if I tell my family I’ve been to church, they’ll laugh at me.

God did not make us with a measuring stick stuck to us that we may test out who is good enough and who is not.  God did not make us to live in fear and shame from ourselves without way to get out.  God made beautiful things out of dust and God breathed life into these beautiful things and God calls these beautiful things to be the mouthpieces of a new way of life.  No it is not easy and yes we will sometimes be scared, but God has called us to this place, in this time for a purpose and a word for those around us. 

I remember on one of my little brother’s walls as a child, there being a cross-stitched picture that said, “God don’t make junk.”  I think there was another phrase with it and a picture, but all I can remember is the “God don’t make junk.” 

We are each made in the quirky sometimes weird way that we are and that’s beautiful in and of itself.  We had a beautiful, amazingly spirit-filled, beautiful offertory on Sunday in The Journey – awesome clarinet music.  Wow the talent and the amazing gift of God!  We don’t all have to be the best musicians or the prettiest girl and the handsomest guy or the most athletic or the smart one in the family or the friendly cheerleader, or whatever else.  God made Jeremiah.  God called Jeremiah.  God made each and every one of us (hello Psalm 139) and God has called us.

And if you’re like me and you want to see them play the instruments…very, very cool.

Posted in Campus Ministry, Community, Exercise, Fear, Grace, Jesus, Sermons

Hebrews 12:1-2

Posted on by narciejeter

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right had of the throne of God.”

In this season of campus ministry – you can’t just sprint.  When people talk about ministry and life in general you’ll often hear comparisons of a sprint versus a marathon.  If we’re constantly sprinting – we’re going to give out – run out – tag out.

I have a couple of friends right now training for marathons and they have their run keepers set on twitter and facebook so that everyone is keeping track of their training.  This is amazing to me.  I have a hard enough time talking myself into any exercise, much less training for a marathon.  I admire their commitment – their dedication.

I relate to the part of these verses that says “let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely…”  Sometimes it does feel like there our weights holding us down.  What are we carrying with us?  What is holding us back with all its might?  Is it unresolved hurt or anger?  Is it a feeling of unworth or mistrust?  Is it a sense of betrayal not just of a loved one but even in thinking about God?  Is it fear?

There can be a lot that weighs us down especially in the middle of the night as we wrestle with those things that we don’t want to acknowledge in the day light.  When everything is stripped away – what holds us back from running the race set before us?

We are not called to live a sedentary life.  But exercise and training can sometimes get beastly, especially when you’re not prepared.  Nobody is saying that the race is easy.  Sometimes you need to spend the big bucks on the right running shoes or suffer the consequences.  And in the race of life – sometimes you need to put in the extra time digging into scripture and forming community with one another.

How are we equipped in this life?  How are we ready?  How do we get geared up like Rocky for the fight ahead?  We have to dig into the Word of God.  We have to earnestly seek the Lord by prayer and supplication.  We have to open our eyes and our heart to the leading of God and the many ways God answers us in miraculous ways every day.

We also don’t have to run the race alone.  No one has to sit in their dorm room alone or has to hide in their office during lunch time.  Sometimes it feels that way and again – it’s not always easy.  But we have to band together as community – as church – with each other or we have little shot of making this trek on our own.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says “And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  In our busy world that seems to burst with “stuff” to do and weights pulling at us from all sides, boy do we need to get countercultural sometimes and ban together and get to know each other.

In a society where one could argue we have more opportunities than ever to connect, there are still so many of us that feel like we have to do everything on our own – by our own strength, our own merit, our own smarts, our own everything.  To run this race with perseverance – we’ve got to drop our pride at the door and be willing to step out and reach out to the others running the race with us.  If we just sit with each other on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights or whenever – and we don’t actually get to know one another – how are we being church with one another? 

Sometimes even with encouragement and building each other up, it still gets to be too much.  A student the other day mentioned how he and his roomate had decided last semester they were going to exercise 5 days a week.  They would hold each other accountable and they would encourage each other.  He then said they lasted about a week and a half.  Hey – for some of us – that’s not bad, but a week and a half…sometimes on our own – even if there’s a whole group of us – it ain’t gonna happen if we’re just doing it on our collective strength.

Bottom line – just like the verse says – we’ve got to keep looking to Jesus.  Because none of us are going to run this race perfectly.  None of us are going to always have the nice, shiny, non-scuffed up running shoes and the perfect form.  Sometimes things get tough and we need to know who to look to.  Jesus – the One who sustains us, the One who knows us inside and out, the One who walks before us and beside us each step of the way.  Do the training – dig into scripture, find a community that can support and lift you up – but always look to Jesus – who continues to strengthen our faith through both lifes sprints and marathons.

Posted in Culture, Faith, Grace, Politics, United Methodist Church

Am I the only one?

Posted on by narciejeter

Am I the only one who is a little miffed at Jon Stewart’s portrayal of Methodists in last week’s coverage of Chelsea Clinton’s wedding?  I know I was on vacation and out of the loop and I didn’t care nor watch any of the Clinton wedding coverage.  I also know that United Methodist Communications folks probably have bigger fish to fry, but there’s a whole lot of people that watch Jon Stewart and although he’s a little whatever at times, he does usually speak some semblance of the truth.  For the 18-35 year olds among us, many of us would choose to watch him, Colbert, or George Lopez than the news.

To see a clip from the episode I’m talking about check out this blog post from another United Methodist pastor.  He even tells you exactly when to start watching.  http://blog.hackingchristianity.net/2010/08/methodism-university-of-phoenix-of.html

If you don’t want to go to the site and see it for yourself here’s the gist – Jon Stewart says, “Being a Methodist is easy. It’s like the The University of Phoenix of religions: you just send them 50 bucks and click “I agree” and you are saved.”  Again, I know this is Jon Stewart and taken with a grain of salt.  Hello, I’m from the state of South Carolina.  We’ve been giving him great material for years.  But I still think this comment is bothersome.

Being a Methodist is easy. 

I’m a campus minister and every summer and during preview days during the school year we as a collective group of campus ministries (WCCM – Winthrop Cooperative Campus Ministries) host a table with the other student activity groups and we sign up students for more information about the various ministries.  It’s always hilarious to me how many students we get from particular denominations that actually emphasize this connection, how many students are looking nicely around and smiling and then they see our sign that says Campus Ministries and they don’t make eye contact, how many times we never see the student if the parent is the one who signed them up, and those that have already heard about our ministries from their home churches even before they got there.  Now that is a study in and of itself.  Inevitably when I leave these exchanges, I think boy, this grace thing that we United Methodists talk about all the time – that’s a tricky thing.  I don’t know if it’s helping us or hurting us in the arena of discipleship.

Don’t get me wrong – I love grace.  Heck my daughter Evy is Evy Grace.  Without grace humanity would be up the creek with no paddle and not even a boat or creek to begin with.  I LOVE the Wesleyan understanding of grace.  Prevenient grace – God draws us to God’s self even before we know it; Justifying grace – We realize that God’s grace is not only abundant but sufficient for us – even on our most sinful and lost day; Sanctifying grace – God doesn’t leave us where we are in sin but walks with us on this journey of faith drawing us forth to living more and more like Christ.  I get it.  I love it.  Seriously.

But dude, I think half of our people think because they have this grace thing down pat, than they’re all good to go and they forget that sanctifying part where we’re supposed to be growing more and more in the ways of Jesus.  You’ve heard of cheap grace.  I’ve never really liked that phrase because I don’t think grace is cheap – it came at a cost and one we didn’t have to pay.  I may not like the phrase but I think we see the sentiment all around us and contrary to what Mr. Stewart may believe, living out a life of faith is not easy.

Maybe if we really believed the theology we say we do, the things that the Wesleys’ lifted up in their teaching, their music, their lives – maybe then it wouldn’t look so easy or watered down.  I also argue that there are plenty of United Methodists and I know other Christians all over the world that are living out the Gospel with all of its radical, counter-cultural, transformational, and tenacious glory all over the place in all the ways they can, by all the means they can, as ever as long they can.

You don’t press the easy button and then suddenly become a Methodist.  Now that would make a funny new UMC commercial – true.  But it’s a balance.  Grace comes to us freely and without merit.  That in some ways is really easy.  You just call on the name of Jesus and viola – it is that easy.  A free gift – not earned, not based on gold stars we’re collecting on a sticker board in the sky.  How many people do we see in the gospel accounts as they encounter Jesus and suddenly their eyes are opened and they realize he is Lord?  That part – the ah hah – when we get it – is as easy as accepting it and knowing it.  But the living it and breathing it and trusting it and stepping out in faith – that’s a process.  That’s a lifetime.  That’s a step by step, day by day. 

So yes, Jon Stewart I think you are hilarious.  Yes, you are right that there was way too much news coverage of the Clinton wedding.  But yes you bothered me in your comments about our denomination.  Then again, maybe we should be bothered.  Maybe we should think about what we stand for.  Maybe we should think about how we’re living out our faith and how we’re living out such a radical Gospel.  Seriously, maybe that should be our new ad campaign.  Ready or not?  Easy or not?  What does it mean to follow Jesus?  What does it mean to be a United Methodist?  What do we actually stand for?  Not just what we stand against a la Anne Rice’s rant, but what do we clear as a bell, beyond a shadow of a doubt, stand for?

I’m not going to go there with the Anne Rice thing at this point but for a response I really liked and thatresonated with me, here’s one by Karen Spears Zacharias.  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/op-ed-blog/22453-an-open-letter-to-anne-rice