Category: Faith

Posted in Anger, Faith, Frustration, Grief, Life, Tumor

The Anger Stage

Posted on by narciejeter

So it’s there.  A little bit after the parental units, but nonetheless, the anger stage is in the house.  I, like most of you, know about the stages of grief and it’s almost worse that I know this and realize this and can clinically say, why of course, Narcie Jeter, what you are experiencing is a quite substantial dose of the anger and sadness stages of grief.

Lord knows why it took me so long and why I went into survival, defuse the situation, and keep bouncing along mode except for the fact that I just really don’t want to deal with this.  I really don’t want to think about surgery again.  I really don’t want to show the kids the scar from the last time and let them know this is all going to be okay.  I really don’t want to feel so freaking ticked off and frustrated and distracted and weepy.  Weepy.  And not in a nice, cute crying way, but watching old episodes of Dawson’s Creek and crying like a nutcase.

I don’t really know how to make this feeling go away so besides the Dawson’s Creek marathon which is strangely always comforting (nutcase, I told you), I’m trying to blog it out.  Maybe if I articulate whatever this is…since I don’t really have a punching bag and I probably shouldn’t throw things against the wall so late at night.

I don’t actually know what I want.

I don’t know if there’s an answer.

I don’t even know if there’s a question.

Things I know:  I love my family.  I trust God.  I know there are many, many people praying.  I appreciate that greatly.  I love what I do – all of it – silly, serious, and in between.  I am tired.  I am worried.  I am scared.  I am loved and cherished by an amazing man who is more than I ever deserve or imagined.  I have done this before and I know all will be fine and it’s a great doctor and facility.  I can’t decide if this is a big deal or not a big deal or if it’s just normal, which is weird and not quite right.  I’m already wondering about the next surgery or what will happen…  I have the two silliest, sweetest, most unique and precious and precocious children imaginable and I swing between the hope that they may never know anything about this because I wish I could control things and realizing that this isn’t just my story but our story.  I realize that there are a heck of a lot of people dealing with things more awful and challenging and I sometimes feel whiny and weak for even articulating this.

And yet.  When I start typing and I stop feeling the waves of anger for a bit and I stop crying along to “I Don’t Wanna Wait” like a sad sack, I know that God is carrying me and holding me each step of the way, which ironically in some ways makes me cry more.  And for the record, I’m not writing that as a pastor and I don’t care a hill of beans if anyone reads this, but it’s just good to feel and know that.  Even as silly as that may seem to some.

Thanks for being on this journey.  Thanks for praying.  Even if I don’t always answer the emails, comments, facebooks, fast enough or at all, know that I appreciate them and I read them.  They help that “held” feeling when it’s denial, anger, sadness, and yuck city.  Love you all.  Especially my crazy WNWers that would let me share my Dawson’s obsession.  And if any of you reading this make fun of me for my silly, trashy, and immature tv watching….you’re going to get it.  (I kid.  Mostly.)

***I also realize that I write plenty of run-on, stream of consciousness sentences, and I, nor the English major inside of me, actually cares.  So ha!

Posted in Community, Easter, Faith, Health, Holy Week, Miracle, Prayer, Support

Miraculous

Posted on by narciejeter

ImageI got a phone call on Friday after a long week of good, fun, tiring and yet rewarding work.  It was not a number that I or my phone recognized and I’m usually tempted to let those go to voice mail since you never know if it’s a survey or a wrong number or who knows.  But for once, I didn’t.  It was a student who had something to give me.  A pastor of hers knew that she was a student at Winthrop so she wanted to pass something along to me.  That’s all she really said.  So I had no idea what this could be.

When she stopped by Wesley, she handed me a beautifully colored picture.  I love rainbows and bright colorful things so I liked the picture instantly.  She then said that it was a Mandala and as the picture says on the back – it’s a contemplative practice.  Rev. Annie Edwards who I don’t know, created this for me during my brain surgery in 2010.  She started it at 11:45 am and finished it at 1:30 pm – truly roughly the time of my surgery.  As she writes on the back, “This was done for you during your surgery, with love and compassion.  Your Dad is my friend.”

It’s beautiful and something I’ll treasure.  As are the prayer shawls, books, pictures, everything that has been passed along to me that I can share with others.

I am admittedly sometimes flippant about the surgery and I in some ways am pretty successful at brushing it off.  In my day to day life – I don’t walk around with a sign around my neck that mentions it.  When I get an invitation to the survivor’s dinner for Relay for Life, I am more often than not – surprised.  But I think, as is often the case with the things that we are flippant about, most of my bravado comes from a place that is truly grateful and humbled by the outpouring of love and support – so much so that I don’t know if I can express how much it means or how much even when it’s not at the forefront of my mind – that I depend and rely on the prayers and the Spirit of mercy and grace that I feel ever present.

It’s not something that I’m afraid to talk about, but it is something that’s deeply personal.  So yes, I keep it on the About Me part of the blog – though I’ve debated that – and it becomes a part of the fabric of my life.  Not definitive of all of who I am, but yes a defining moment….among many.

One of the things that struck me on Friday was yes, the picture, but also what the girl from Winthrop who I’ve never met, said to me as she delivered.  She talked about what a miracle it is.  I asked her what she meant and she said, “You.  It’s miraculous.”  No, this is not a big head moment.  I’m not slapping myself on the back. But part of me did want to slap my forehead at the “Doh!” moment.  I don’t know about you but I think it’s easier for me to see the miracles around me – my students, Spring, healing of friends and family, the birth of a child – but it’s harder to see ourselves in that way.  I don’t know if we can even wrap our minds around that.  But we can sure as heck be grateful.  And hugely grateful at that.  For the prayers of so many, for the love that encircles us, and for the hope of the resurrection.

During this Holy Week, my hope is that I not rush straight to the resurrection but that I take time to attend to the twists and turns between Palm Sunday to Maundy Thursday and that I’m attentive to all that is the darkness and despair of Good Friday because we all have felt and walked and witnessed times like that.  And that when I hear the Good News of the resurrection on Easter morning that I feel both the impossibility and the miraculous and the ever present and real hope and promise that it offers.  May we know and see the miracles in each of our lives, our communities and the world around us and may we claim and treasure them!

 

**  Dad’s reflection on this time period – Holy Saturday Redux – http://wtmcclendon.wordpress.com/2010/06/16/holy-saturday-redux/  I think about it around this time of year…and I appreciate his honesty.

Posted in Balance, Busy-ness, Centering, Faith, Guidance, Holy Spirit, Lent, perseverance, Rest

Renew, Restore, Uphold

Posted on by narciejeter

As we continue through our Lenten journey, looking towards Holy Week – these verses are a challenge, a promise and a prayer. “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. . . . Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” – Psalm 51:10, 12

The sentences above was my facebook status this morning.  The passage came from the online Upper Room readings this morning.  I don’t know about you, but I needed to hear them.  It is so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and all of the things that “have” to get done, that at least for me, the things that I treasure sometimes get pushed aside.  There’s only so long that we can spin like tops like in Inception without completely stopping and getting skewed.  

I think some of us see God as the One that keeps the top spinning.  We see God as the strength to get us through the next thing and the next and the next.  This time of year when there’s just a month left in the semester, in many ways I cling to that image of God giving us the strength, perseverance, and grace to keep moving and going and completing the things that we need to complete and remembering the things we need to remember.  

For some of us, it’s harder to see God as the One that sometimes is this one to stop the top mid-spin.  If you’re in the middle of dancing to a good song or jamming in your car, you don’t want the song to suddenly go off either by someone changing the channel or an emergency test or you arriving at your location.  Sometimes though it takes this sometimes awkward pause to wake us up to realize that we’ve been running on our own steam and in our own self-centeredness and self-involvement and that we haven’t connected to the One who sustains us in awhile.

It’s not that we haven’t been doing what we need to do.  It’s not that I haven’t gone to worship or small group or done the “minister” stuff, but no matter how long the to do list is and no matter how many directions our minds are pulled in whether in worry or day dreaming or whatever, sometimes we need to press the pause button and reconnect with the One who is providing us with the music.

My prayer for myself and each of us is that if we’re speeding through this Lenten journey and we’re thinking we’re in the home stretch, that we’re just as attentive now to God’s leading as we were when we started this journey on Ash Wednesday.  My hope is that we’re just as committed, disciplined and awakened to God’s joy and presence now as when we first believed.  May God speak to us in clear and powerful ways and may we have ears to listen and hearts ready to receive.  May our lives be renewed and restored, and may we trust that God will uphold us today, tomorrow and forevermore!

Image
This is a true outside of Wesley where I've gotten to watch some persevering green silk worms slowly and surely make their way. May we fit into God's rhythm the same way.
Posted in change, Faith, Journey, Leaping

Coming and Going – Leaping

Posted on by narciejeter

I talk to my students a lot about not being afraid to take chances, leaps of faith, embrace change. It’s a message that clearly resonates with college students and young adults who are consistently coming and going in residence halls, with roommates, doing internships, studying abroad, and one day graduating and hopefully finding first jobs and new communities.

But as you know, it’s sometimes hard to practice what you preach. It’s hard to move out of comfort zones. It’s hard to put yourself out there. It’s hard to rock the boat.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. Nor does that mean that we’re not called to do it.

On February 29th – ironically – Leap Day – I interviewed for the Pastor/Director position at Gator Wesley in Gainesville, Florida. As y’all know that was a pretty big leap for us but one that we all had prayed about and were excited about – though I admittedly was terrified as well – duh. I was trying to live into what I tell my students a bit and I posted on facebook, “Can’t help but thinking about “leaping” today. I don’t know if one would necessarily leap into Lent or the wilderness, but I hope we can leap into growing on our journey with God, loving in community, and taking risks and acting in faith in our callings and the living of our lives!”

The thing that I love about community and the comings and the goings is that just because things change, that doesn’t mean that what was shared wasn’t precious or that love and life and story shared just goes away. But we continue to journey and take risks and answer callings.

So in that vein – we “leaped.” The Jeter fam will be moving to Gainesville this summer and someone else will be leaping to Winthrop Wesley. Prayers for these comings and goings and a huge thanks to all of those fellow journeyers out there! May we all be ready to leap when God opens a window!

Link to my leaving announcement on the Winthrop Wesley blog: http://wuwesley.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/announcement-from-narcie/

Posted in Campus Ministry, Culture, dialogue, Faith, Movies, perception, unbelievers, world

Grenades and Blue Like Jazz

Posted on by narciejeter

I had a comment on one of my blog posts this morning that made me think a bit. It was on the post “Jesus to a 4 Year Old” and the person posted that we (Christians) are stupid and we’re corrupting our children and making them stupid. Wow. Good morning! I can understand that. There are many that have experienced Christians as judgmental, hypocritical, unethical, and dillusional. There are some who assume that to believe what we believe, we must be stupid, unenlightened, or just ignorant.

It’s ironic reading this comment after watching a screening of the Blue Like Jazz movie last night while at the Refresh campus ministry conference. If you know me, you know I’m a big supporter of the book and have been a big supporter of the movie. I didn’t know what to expect last night and was trying very hard not to get my hopes up or set the bar too high. The book and the movie are VERY different in a lot of ways. It was hilarious last night explaining the differences to the many who had not read the book yet. They are so different that the wonderful Donald Miller wrote a book about the making of the movie – A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Read it. (I may actually it more than Blue Like Jazz.)

Some of the questions afterwards were what kind of audience is this going to be directed to and why was it so different than the book, etc. This is not geared towards the Christian audience that would go see something like Fireproof or Soul Surfer. I don’t know if they would it make it through the slightly over the top first 5 minutes. It’s slightly more appealing to those of who believe that we can be authentic and real people of faith and can still enjoy a good sometimes crude laugh sometimes a la Jimmy Fallon or Bridesmaids. Even still to me it’s really geared to those who have railed against the church and the things that don’t add up when comparing the love and actions of God with the love and action of God’s followers.

The Book of Mormon Broadway musical writers said that it’s a love letter from atheists to people of faith. In some ways I can see this as a love letter from Christians to atheists. In a lot of ways that simplifies it way too much, but it is something different. I can’t say enough: read the book, read the book, read the book.

It’s easy to throw pot shots at each other – whether people of faith or those ticked off at the Church. It’s easy to make judgements and assumptions and believe in the cliches. It’s harder to engage and dialogue and admit fault -not just on a personal level but as this body of believers that we represent. I know there are times when I want to apologize to folks for what some do in the name of Christ and the church. I know there are times when we as Christians hate on each other and judge each other because of worship styles or how we live our lives. Part of it is admitting that there’s something wrong – that we are culpable or personally responsible for some of these things and not just pointing fingers at particular bodies or theologies or idealogies.

All this to say – talk to me – give me a dialogue on what you believe or don’t believe. Engage. Chat. Share a meal or grab a cup of coffee. Don’t just toss an anonymous grenade where you feel self-righteous and filled with purpose, actually get to know people and see them as who they are as people – not just what box you have put them in.

I’m saying this to myself as well. We have put up the walls to our boxes so high and so thick that we don’t get out of those very often…whether we’re scared or angry or indignant or ignorant as to the whos and whys outside of stereotypes. Do you have friends that aren’t Christian? Do you have friends on the fringe? Do you have friends who don’t look like you or talk to you or believe exactly as you do?

I admit that after seeing the movie last night, I’m a little nervous. I’ve used this book countless times in sermon illustrations and small groups. I’ve pitched the amazing story of funding the movie and how I believe in this thing that’s not Evangelical or Liberal but it’s one person’s story of faith and a journey we’re invited into. But the movie is a heck of a lot more risque than that and there are some seens that I’m like – can I promote this movie? Not just in campus ministry/college student land, but to multi-generational crowds? We don’t blink twice about some of the tv shows or movies we watch or what we read, but when we throw Jesus into it, it makes it that much more layered and complicated. So am I going to promote this knowing that there’s profanity and drinking and who knows what else not to mention the disregard and mockery of the church for much of the movie?

Are you? What do you think as pastors, as lay people, as Christians, as people of faith in a sometimes hostile world and a sometimes blissfully presumptive world??

http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/

Posted in Advent, Children, Faith, giving, Mommy, poor, responsibility, Santa, service

Baby Chicks

Posted on by narciejeter

You know the blogs and forwards and Advent Conspiracy and It’s Not Your Birthday and even the OccupyAdvent on twitter have a clear message that Advent is not a time for commercialism or just giving ourselves a bunch of stuff that we really don’t need when we’re blessed with so much? I have enjoyed reading them and trying to stay present and mindful during Advent. I also appreciate the counter-cultural. Isn’t that what we as the Church are supposed to be?

The hilarity that has ensued has nothing to do with whether I believe in these practices or not and nothing to do with whether I think we could really solve basic problems in the world just by sharing and giving what we can to those in need. Because I do believe that. I honestly believe that if we saw past our own needs and our own selves, than we wouldn’t just want to give, but we would be compelled to give – it would be a moral, spiritual and imperative obligation.

So here I am trying to teach that to my children – who just turned 3 and 4 by the way – and lo and behold, it’s not as easy as it may seem. At least not in our house. I recently posted a blog to my facebook that I loved….. I love that it wasn’t something parents imposed but was the kid’s idea. I also love that it was a family affair and something everyone enjoyed and got into. I had been keeping the Heifer International catalogue on the counter in my “put everything in it because you don’t want to lose things even though it’s a jumbled up mess” basket and I thought this may be the time. Evy had gone to sleep early so it was just me and Enoch, the 4 year old.
So we started talking about Jesus and Santa which good golly it’s easy for me to distinguish between the two (duh!) but explaining to a child the differences is hilarious. And then we started talking about gifts. The first hiccup was that Enoch didn’t understand why everyone didn’t get gifts. If we say that Santa gives gifts to good little boys and girls than why didn’t some good little girls and boys get gifts? If we see that Jesus loves everyone and came here to be with all of us, why doesn’t everyone get gifts? Why are there poor people? Why do they not have money? What do their Mommy’s and Daddy’s do?

We then started talking about toys. I frequently tell Enoch that I think he has more toys than Toys R Us and that he needs to share them. We’ve talked about this in making Operation Christmas Child boxes and using his happy meal toys for this and other small toys. So I tell him that he’s still going to get toys from Santa but that we as a family can give animals to other families and communities.

Oh boy. Let’s just say that when we opened the catalogue and he had the option to pick out goats or bunnies or baby chicks or cows, he wanted them all. Not for the other families, but for him. Especially the baby chicks.
Mike got a good chuckle from this entire interchange, nut needless to say, I talked about people that don’t have enough foods and how animals can help give us food or we can sell things from the animals so that we can take care of each other, etc., etc., etc. The amazing folks that we stay with on our trips to Nicaragua have asked us to bring the kids with us on our trips, and I’ve never more than that night wanted to take them on one. Because I can explain and explain and explain and we can make our Operation Christmas Child boxes and we can pick out our baby chicks, but there’s nothing like seeing and interacting and playing with children that live in such very different conditions than your own.

So that was my first thought. I want Enoch and Evy not to give just because it’s right or just for the joy of giving – even though those are good, but I want them to understand and see and know and feel that passion about providing for the least of these – not just as a hand out or looking down on people or we as the great Western world, come to save them – but knowing that this is what we’re called to do.

Josh preached a sermon series on stewardship a couple weeks ago and I think about his Spiderman illustration of the saying that many of us know – “With great power comes great responsibility” or the words from Luke 12:48 – “To whom much is given, much is required.” We have been given so much. When I started preaching in a local church I had no idea what to say when handing out the offering plates and so I started to say, “May we give back to God what God has graciously given to each of us.” It’s God’s. And we have been blessed. But it’s hard to see and know and feel our blessings sometimes if we don’t see what would have happened without them. I don’t think that’s always the case, but Enoch doesn’t know how much to appreciate that Optimus Prime transformer when he has a toy box full of toys versus if that was his only toy.

The other thing that jumped out to me is the nature of us and commercials and books and songs and how we talk about Santa Claus. When we’re talking to children about Santa, we talk about Santa giving gifts to little boys and girls all over the world. We talk about the good children getting lots of present and the bad children getting coals and switches. So if you get a lot of toys, you’re a good kid? If you don’t, you’re not? I remember the Christmas that my dad gave us walnuts and oranges in our stockings because that’s what they had done when he was a kid. Not hating on the walnuts and oranges, but we wanted chocolate and candy canes and little toys – not just some walnuts and oranges. I’m not the parent that talks a great deal about Santa or the ins and outs of how he gets everywhere and how many gifts he gives, etc. but there’s no way I can honestly say that I haven’t used Santa during the holidays. He’s the best leverage in the world in December when kids are wild on Christmas party, candy, and just the excitement and fun of Christmas in the air! We haven’t bought an Elf on the Shelf, but even I can throw out there – Santa doesn’t like whiners or people that don’t share with their sisters and brothers or those that say potty words (Enoch and Evy’s potty words of choice right now are “diaper” and “baby” so watch out if you’re called a “diaper baby.”).

I can throw that out there with Jesus all year long – Jesus likes you to share, Jesus wants us to love even the bullies, Jesus….wants us to give a family some baby chicks instead of you getting even more toys.
I don’t have any answers with this blog, but I do think it’s an interesting commentary on how we talk about Christmas and how we see it. It’s been fascinating trying to talk to Enoch and Evy about this. They understand the manger and the Christmas story and they understand Santa and giving gifts but how those two relate…we’re still working on that one. To be honest, in thinking about it, I’m still working on explaining that one. These are the things that I love about this age. They’re honest and they don’t know all the “right” answers yet….they just know that they’d like some baby chicks.

How are we preparing during Advent? How are we not just posting the articles or getting the tweets, but we’re actually engaging in what it means to wrestle with these counter-cultural ideas? Explaining to a 4 year old, how are we showing the amazing Christmas story and the essentials without getting all bogged down in Santa?

A great and challenging article on this: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/12/when-christmas-gets-radical-whose-birthday-is-it-really/

***Note that I’m not saying not to do alternative gift giving – quite the contrary. I think we really should! I just think it’s important to communicate the whys and the whats and the Whos and not just do it for the kudos or the gold stars! There are a gazillion great orgs to give to!!!

Posted in Advent, Balance, Busy-ness, Centering, Devotional Life, Faith, Health, New Years, Tune Up

Time for a Tune Up

Posted on by narciejeter

I’m sitting at the car dealership where there’s a computer kiosk, right beside a vending machine selling 5 Hour Energy Drinks.  Really.  In a car dealership you need 5 hour energy drinks?  Maybe so.  I don’t know if you would like to drink one in a waiting room though.

My car has needed an oil change for the longest time.  It’s one of those new kinds that instead of looking at the lovely sticker that the last oil change put on your car saying what mile to bring it back on, it tells you you’ve got 15% oil life left, 10% and so on.  Let’s just say I’m way over after the 0% and when you do that it flashes at you at all times this little yellow wrench.  You would think that the little wrench would have been annoying enough that it would have spurred me on to take the car in.  Quite the contrary.  In some ways it was a fun game to see how long it would take me to notice.  Especially on a drive to Columbia, there were many miles that I didn’t notice and then out of the corner of my eye I would think, what is that thing flashing and lo and behold I would remember the wrench.

Yes, it would inspire some guilt and I would think gosh, I am really stinking at getting things done right now but then I would remind myself it’s the end of the semester, things are crazy, a break is coming.

I don’t know about you but it seems like that’s a habit in my life.  There are times when I push through the busy and just keep going well past the yellow light of the wrench blinking.  Last night I began praying before I went to sleep and in my mind I started saying the words to the blessing I often pray when sharing a meal with the students.  That’s not a good sign folks.  When what naturally comes out is just the pattern and is not so much the heart, that gives me pause.

But is it a pause that I will do something about?  I don’t know.

You see, I would like to think that if my prayer life or my family life or my work life or my scale of sanity had a blinking yellow wrench every time I woke up to show me that I need to get a tune up, I would actually do something about it.  I would right the wrong or at least make an intentional effort.  You would think this, right?

But then again, I have gone hundreds of miles with this blinking light and as much as I feel guilty when others drive my car or if someone sees the blinking light, it hasn’t forced me to remedy it.  I may know that it needs fixing, others may see that it needs fixing, but if I don’t make the choice to do something about it, than it languishes in it’s oil-less misery getting worse and worse with more and more damage.

I think there are seasons where we wonder, is this the time?  Is this when I should make the change?  Is this the moment to make some new habits?

And then – at least I – think, well it’s not New Years and it’s not my birthday and it’s not some milestone moment.  Am I really going to do whatever this Is at least 6-8 times to actually make it a habit?  Is this a good enough moment?  Is it a dire enough situation?

When I first talked to my neurosurgeon about the brain tumor, one of the perhaps idiotic things that I asked, was if taking my vitamins now and exercising now what make a difference.  I’m not saying those things would have made any difference in the grand scheme of things but I look back at the irony of that question, like – can I get a do over and actually do things “right” and that make everything better?

We don’t do things like take seriously our devotional and prayer life, be fully present with our kids and treasure our spouse, and try to live as an example of the love of Christ instead of just a harried, frustrated, tired person, just because it’s “right” or it’s going to be the cure all.  We do these things because they help to make as whole.  God doesn’t command things just for the heck of it or so that we can walk around with halos.  God commands things because God wants the best for us and wants to save us as much heartache and hurt as possible.  The Honda company doesn’t just have the wrench light up for no reason, but because it’s something that I need to deal with NOW and not 1,000 miles later.

So what are some things that we need  to take seriously?  Is our check engine light on?  Or is it just an oil change that is needed?  What are some areas that we see as things that need our attention?

The awesome thing is that we don’t do all the work by ourselves.  Just like, I’m not the one in the shop working on my car right now, I’m also not the one who has to try to “fix” my life all by myself.  It’s not even really about fixing.  It’s about being open to God and God’s leading and opening our eyes to our growing edges.  This is not because God loves us any less or that anything can separate us from the love of God, because we know that’s not true, but it’s so that we are firing on all cylinders and are ready for whatever life may throw at us.

Oh my all of these cars references are killing me.  One more though – let us this day, this Advent, not just waiting for New Year’s, let the Great Mechanic open us up and give us the tune up that we need.  Let us be open to that.  Let us be ready for that.  Let us take it seriously and be ready.  Even in the midst of the hustle and bustle, there are times when we need to take a breath and pause things for a bit so that we can continue on in the most full and abundant way that we can.

Posted in Distractions, Faith, God, Life, Listening, Music, Pandora, Pastors, pride

I’m Still Listening

Posted on by narciejeter

I’ve just gotten into using Pandora. I don’t know what the difference is between the things that I’ll jump on the bandwagon for and the things that I won’t. Some of them that I’ve just started – itunes (I’ve always liked actual CD’s – call me crazy), instagram (no idea yet), or even Words with Friends (the students have me playing it, but I’m absolutely terrible.) Maybe I wait and see if it will catch on (still waiting on Google+) or more than likely, I wait until I have some free time to try it out and it’s easy to access. I still haven’t figured out the “cool” Pandora play lists yet, but I have a couple that I love and regularly jam to. The thing that I’ve noticed more than anything is how long it takes me to realize that the music has stopped. You see, if you listen long enough, or if you like me listens while you work, eventually the music is going to stop and you’ll click on the box and you’ll see a message that inquires whether you’re still listening or not. There are some days when I immediately notice, whoa, whoa, whoa, the music has stopped. There are other days when I’m running a bit more on the ragged side or if I’m deep in thought or a project and I finally realize it but can’t remember where along the way it stopped.

Yesterday, for the first time in many, many years, Mike and I worshiped together at a local church. Neither of us responsible for any part of the service. No preaching, speaking, singing, playing the piano, announcements…nothing. Several things struck me all at once. One, I was tired. And it’s a lot easier to zone out and yawn really loudly and for a long time when you’re not the one leading worship. I noted that there’s something energizing or I would say more accurately – Holy Spirit infusing – about leading worship. Sometimes it’s hard to go from closing your eyes during the prayer to focus in on what’s being said. Then I began to wonder to myself about how the folks in the congregation feel? After a few moments I arrived at the conclusion, that a lot of it had to do with me. If you are an active participant in worship – singing, listening to the words of the prayers, paying attention to the children’s sermon – than you’ll get a heck of a lot more out of it.

When I calmed down in my own skin for a minute and actually tuned in to the word God was speaking, I was able to realize that somewhere along the way, the music had stopped and I indeed needed to click the “I’m Still Listening” button. As pastors or those that work in the church, how often are we tuned into the word God would have us share with our congregations, but we’re not quite as open, when we’re not the ones in charge, doing the feeding, and being open to the ways that word will be revealed to us?

I don’t know about you but I feel like there are times when we have been coasting and cruising and we’re doing the appropriate motions and the right spots, but our movements aren’t connecting with our brains. Things are going pretty okay, but if we tuned ourselves in just a bit more to the music flowing all around us, things would be going pretty fantastic…or at least more in tune. Once I got my head and my heart communicating and opening up, I heard a great, convicting, challenging, and well-thought out sermon that was a confirmation that I needed to wake up and do some listening. Isn’t it funny that God brings those things that we need to hear? We just need to clean out our ears sometimes and sort through distractions to get to the place where we can feel and know the presence of God clearly and actively.

What are ways that we stay in tune to God’s music?

What are the things that get in the way and distract us?

What are ways that we can practice listening or centering?

Posted in Abundance, Blessings, Faith, Promise, Providence, Thankful

God Things

Posted on by narciejeter

Today in this season of thanks I thank God for the God things. That sounds like a really general and broad area, right? But I know you know what I’m talking about. I thank God for the times when you can feel God’s presence whether in the sacred or the secular, the intentional and the spontaneous.

Both kids have not been sleeping well lately and both were up off and on all last night. Needless to say, it’s been a sleep-deprived hazy day. But in the midst, there’s all these God things that keep us going. When things seem to derail and doubt starts to creep in or fears for the future begin to weigh, it’s nice to be reminded that we are called to trust in God. We are asked to step out in faith. We are charged to live lives full of the bold promise that God will provide.

So today I thank God for the little bits brought into our lives where we can feel that Spirit moving. I am thankful for possibilities and dreams and prayers. I am thankful for gentle reminders and teachings that I know I needed to hear today about forgiveness and peace. I am thankful for spiritual mentors and grounded students who reflect God’s grace. I am thankful for the joy that buoys us up even when we’re exhausted and blah-ed out and for the promises of God.

What little God things did God show you today? How was your spirit refreshed today or your calling confirmed? Where did you see God today?

Loving jamming to Colbie Caillat “Brighter Than the Sun” today.

Posted in Balance, Busy-ness, Distractions, Faith, Grace, Life, Music, Priorities, Sabbath, Self Care, soul care

I turn the music up

Posted on by narciejeter

I haven’t blogged in ages. It’s not that I haven’t thought about blogs or haven’t wanted to, I just haven’t. I think it’s the same thing that I feel about resolutions and reading the Upper Room email devotional in the morning – things that I want to do and crave to do and would feel better after doing, but for some reason I let the other more pressing things get in the way.

There are all sorts of things that demand our attention and it often feels like the things that would re-charge us or center us whether that be writing or reading or taking a walk or exercising or what have you – these are the things that we feel like need to take a back burner when we’re busy burning the candle at both ends and trying to keep our head above water.

I’m not good at treading water. To be even more honest, I’m a terrible swimmer. By the time we started taking swimming lessons, I was already in late elementary school and a pretty tall kid. If you can stand up in the 5 ft. deep end, swimming just doesn’t take on the same urgency it might would. The rest of my family can swim and in thinking about this (because I am that weird), I think I could survive for a little while lost at sea. I’m pretty good at floating on my back or doing like a frog stroke of some sort. If I’m treading water – I’ve got maybe 3 minutes, and I think even then, I’m being pretty generous.

Am I terrible at swimming, because I’ve seen no use for it yet? I just never got into it? I don’t feel a sense of urgency to do it?

Am I terrible at self care because I see no urgency in it? Because it’s not something to mark off the to do list?

Maybe if I added things like: Take a walk, write a poem (for fun not for serious), read a book in silence without interruption (yeah right), turn the music up and blast it, learn the dance to Thriller (finally), write down three things that you’re thankful for each day…maybe if I added some of these things to the to do list, they would actually happen and not just sound good in my head or me wistfully saying them out loud as a cop out.

What should you add to your to do list? What do you need to make time for? As a parent, as a teacher, as a preacher, as a student, as a leader, as a learner, as a philosopher, as a pragmatist, as a advocate, as a dreamer – what does your soul need today?

I’m listening to a little Coldplay “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall.” I don’t want “Monday morning to feel another life,” but like the authentic, passionate, continuation of following where God leads – the challenging, the joys, the wake up calls, the turning points, the ah ha moments, all apart of the waterfall that is our lives. We keep going with the strength of God. We keep grooving in the Spirit of God. We continue sharing love and grace in the joy of Jesus. And we re-charge, re-energize, re-new, re-store, re-fresh in the midst – taking the time to let the movement of Spirit work inside and out.