One of my favorite books as a child was “There Was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly.” My grandmother was a librarian so she had the inside track on all of the good children’s books when we were growing up. I don’t know if it was the rhyming or the irony of my lovingly prissy grandmother reading us this book about an old lady who swallowed a fly, but I loved that book. It’s kind of morbid if you read all the lines but hey – it was memorable.
Last night I enjoyed a dinner where one person found a fly in their food – still alive – stuck in the thousand island dressing and then when the manager came over to check on our main courses as they had arrived, we found two large hairs coming out of my steak. Delish.
Again, memorable.
This is a place where my parents have eaten often and I’ve eaten there a few times with them as well. We have had many good meals there and so in some ways, having one REALLY bad experience, you would think wouldn’t cancel out all of the good experiences. But then there’s something with something like this that makes you pause and think to yourself, if there’s live flies and steaks with hair coming out of the kitchen, what’s happening on the inside?
One of yesterday’s lectionary texts was Philippians 2:1-13 and there’s so much that can be learned from that text about who we are on the inside and what a community looks like when Christ’s love is lived from the inside out. Jesus didn’t just put on a nice facade on the outside to cover the decay on the inside. He lived out his calling authentically and radically. I know none of us are perfect and that sometimes the example of Jesus seems a bit daunting in a hurting and fallen world, but my hope is that even if Gordon Ramsey was to pop into the sometimes dirty kitchen of our hearts, that we are real with the things that challenge us and the things we’re working working and that we excel at. May we need just treat the outer symptoms, but also the very roots that can sometimes creep in and hold us back….whether that’s pride or arrogance or self-indulgence or anger or frustration or self-sabotage or lack of care.
Hope I don’t have any more memorable meals any time soon but a good word for our Wesleyan way of checking on how well it is with our soul. Thanks be to God for the grace and the continued love and healing and Spirit to keep moving and growing and changing and drawing more and more closely to God.
A beautiful picture by Robin MorrenWhen I was growing up there was a popular book called “Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret” by Judy Blume. It’s a classic. Seriously.
It’s been one of those days where you want to ask something along the lines of – is this ever going to be easy? Is there ever going to be a catch up day or a normal day? Why are we all here? What is this God-thing or Gospel that we believe and we’re to share with the world?
Two veins have been turning over in my mind. The first is that of theodicy (why bad things happen) and Providence and God’s will and the second is looking at the crud and muck of life and why sometimes we get so much flack and have to “battle” through to another day.
I wasn’t going to write a blog in the midst of this pondering, but when Casting Crowns “If We’ve Ever Needed You,” Natalie Grant’s “Held,” and Laura Story’s “Blessings,” come up in a row and you’re wrestling with these questions, you begin to feel a nudge saying maybe I should pay attention to this.
This summer I watched the Gamecocks win their second National Championship in baseball and I listened to them throughout the season and especially in that series say the word “battle” about a gazillion times. They talked about the battle that you have to go through to persevere and get through to the other side. They talked about all of the challenges and adversity they faced. They talked about the faith they had even in the midst of the really tough times. If you’re a Gamecock fan you know the battle of which they speak. If you’re not one, you probably think the rest of us are the most masochistic fans ever.
Sometimes it truly feels like one step forward and three steps back. Sometimes that one step forward is huge and it could have been the hardest thing you ever did. Sometimes it feels like you’re talking to God and you’re trying….praying, reading, listening, crying out, and it seems like no one’s there. It’s an “Are you there God, it’s me….” moment. It’s like – are you with me, God? Do you see this? Do you feel this? Do you know what’s happening? Do you know how hard, frustrating, angering, devastating, debilitating this is? Are you with us???
And there are days when we just don’t feel it. There are times when we may want to throw in the towel and say I’m done. There are times when I want to shut down and just not do or be or think or plan or respond to anything. There are times as a pastor and hearing people’s questions and doubts and worries and fears that even I’m gut checking to see what this whole faith thing is all about.
Because that’s the thing. No matter how much battle there is, no matter how much crud the world tosses at us, we have claim and know that God is there. God is here. God knows our heartache and our fears. God doesn’t just hover in a distance but God rejoices with us and also mourns with us. God is there in our suffering. God is there when we cry out. God is there when we’re tired and we’ve had enough. And God brings people and places and songs and sights and sounds and emails and telephone calls and shooting stars and silly jokes and lightning bolts into our lives when we need them so that we draw closer to God and we know for sure and for real that God is with us.
In a week where so many have experienced tragedy, where so many are struggling with friendships and classes and life questions and broken relationships, it’s sometimes hard for us to trust and to hope and to see any rhyme or reason. And sometimes it’s not yet the time or the place and we are shoving fingers in our ears because we don’t want to hear it. There’s such anger and grief and feelings of abandonment that a loving and merciful God could let such things happen. As there should be. The thing about the God we serve – the God of the scriptures is that God is a big God and can handle our anger, our tears, our crying out – all of the words or screaming that we want to use. The Psalms are chock full of people crying out. There aren’t too many Bible stories where someone didn’t question God somewhere along the way. Always in the midst even when we don’t feel it, God is faithful.
It’s not always the time or place to bring up verses about “beauty from ashes” and “for such a time as this” because that can sound trite and cliche and not helpful at all at the time. Sometimes the most loving and grace-filled thing to do is just sit and be present. To listen and love. To care and comfort. Not always with words but with love – tangible, real – prayers and presence. We may not understand why. We may not know the answers. We may not have the perfect thing to say. But we trust and pray and hope that God will continue even in the midst of the most terrible of circumstances to continue to bring mercies anew each day. We rest in the hope that we have someone we can always run to and someone we can always cry out to. We believe and feel the grace knowing that this life and this world is not the end but that the kingdom of God is alive and well in the already and not yet and that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
May God answer us. May when we seek, we find; we knock, the doors opened; we ask, we receive. May we know and reach and grasp and cling to the love of God that is right there for each of us.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I think we all do it at one point or another. In some ways it gets better as you get older….or does it? It seems like it’s mostly outward comparisons – looks, nice car, awesome clothes, a perfect plus one. But then again it can also be inward comparisons. That person is so much (funnier, smarter, more personable, more extroverted, more centered, more…) than I am. Why do we see others as more and that naturally leading to us thinking that we are somehow less?
God gifts each of us in mighty ways and just because our “gift” isn’t the same as the next person’s, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less.
One of the texts for Sunday is Romans 13:8-14 and it speaks hugely to these desires of the flesh – this coveting – this jealousy.
There’s all sorts of thoughts that run through our heads on a daily basis. For me today some have been pretty small like it’s a bad hair day and maybe I should actually get a hair cut, that’s not my feet smelling up Wesley are they, or I wish I wasn’t so old and didn’t have aches and pains. Others strike to the heart…if only I could spend hours of leisure with my children so I can see how their first day of school went, one of my constants – I wish we had a yard even though I love our lovely town house so that our kids could play in the back, or that question that I hate coming up this time of year…the one about whether what I’m doing is good enough.
I don’t think it’s just pastors that feel this way. I’m sure it’s many in the work place or any who begin the lovely comparison dance. I love seeing other campus ministers post on facebook this time of year and it’s great being able to cheer them on and glean great ideas from them. I like the fellowship building of that and the collegiality. And although I truly am excited when things are going well and there are more folks coming to Christ and finding that essential community, if I were completely honest with myself, this also often brings a list of questions and worries to mind as well. Am I working hard enough? Do we have enough students? Are we going to have enough supporters or money coming in? Is the job enough to count as ministry? Why can’t we just rejoice with those and not have it automatically mean that something about us is less or not enough?
That’s the thing about ministry sometimes. We think that it’s all about us. Are we cool enough? Hipster enough (don’t get me started Mac people)? Funny enough? Spiritual enough? Know our Bible backwards and forwards enough? Do we have enough activities? Do we have a big enough crowd? Are we marketing ourselves well? It can drive you crazy.
Reality though is that God has gifted each of us and we’re not going to be all things to all people. Wesley is going to always be a place that emphasizes community and justice and following Christ – not just nice and clean but down and dirty. It is what it is. Narcie is not ever going to have unlimited energy, a nice and witty thing always to say, perfect patience with everyone even in the most random of requests or the poof of suddenly being turned into a hot male with skinny jeans, muscle shirts, the strategic tattoo and gelled hair. It ain’t happening.
I’m me. No less than anyone else. But all the more because of the One who has called us each by name. I don’t have to feel unworthy or ashamed or less than. I just have to trust the One who made me and created me as me. I am enough. You are enough. We are plenty. Isn’t a theology of abundance that much more life-giving than a theology of scarcity? It’s not that someone got our gift and since they took it, we can’t have it. It’s not that someone is doing so super well that there’s not enough for us.
We are enough. As Romans 13 verse 12 says, “Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light…” May we lay down the words of darkness that creep into our heads and our hearts and may we put on the armor of light that protects us and surrounds us and sees us through to the other side.
Andrew Ripp – You Will Find Me (speaks so well to these feelings – great song!)
For some reason – this didn’t post when we were in Nicaragua a few weeks ago….oh the internet. But here it is a bit late. If you want to check out more postings from Nicaragua from me and the students, check out http://www.wuwesley.wordpress.com!
Winthrop Wesley is in Nicaragua for the week working at the Center for Development in Central America with the Jubilee House Community. Although I’m not someone who loves plane flights or the actual travel side of the equation, this is one of my favorite places in the world. I love the people and the countryside and being here with a group of students discovering and learning and growing.
When we arrived one of the JHC folks, Kathy, asked me what I was most looking forward to, and I didn’t have an answer. It’s hard to say. I enjoy the touring stuff we do like the laguna and seeing Pedro through amazingly beautiful pottery and hearing about Managua in the midst of earthquakes and hurricanes and the Contra war. But one of my favorite things is just being here in the midst of this intentional community where very different people seek to live in community, in fellowship, in life with one another. It’s an amazing thing to witness their commitment with the poor and the ways they help make things that seem impossible, happen.
Mike (my husband) told Mike (member of JHC) that he thought he was full of it when he said they were going to create the first ever fair trade organic cotton production line from the ground to the gin to the spinning plant to the sewing cooperative. Fair trade made up cooperatives and organic. And they’ve done it. It’s just very cool to see the work of JHC.
We may all be a little hot, a little dirty, and a little worse for wear at times, but it’s a gift to see the students step up and come together in this place. Watching them learn and grow and be challenged and enjoy this trip is such a beautiful thing.
So this week I may or may not be writing on this blog very much but we’re trying to post daily on the Winthrop Wesley blog – wuwesley.wordpress.com.
As always with these trips I know that I’m going to get much more out of this than I’ll ever be able to give back, but there’s no amount of money or clothes or things that I could give or receive that would ever outweigh the treasure of meeting people, knowing people, dialoguing with people, growing as a community across boundaries. These are holy moments.
If you want to read more about the work of JHC, go here www.jhc-cdca.org/.
You know those people who think they need to comment on everything and that they’re obviously the most brilliant people in the world and you just MUST know their opinion because it will change your universe? Maybe it’s one of your parents, maybe the little old lady at church, maybe your next door neighbor that loves to comment on your gardening, or maybe it’s even your pastor that thinks they have it all figured out and that you must be brainless or oblivious.
I know some of these folks are sincerely trying to be helpful. Some are doing it out of love. Some are doing it because they genuinely care what happens to you and they want you to have the happiest life possible.
Others are being nit-picky, patronizing, and annoying.
We used to tell my not very quiet grandmother – “Mind your own plate.” You may think to yourself, who would talk to their grandmother that way? True statement. But we’re a mouthy family and Lord knows that if any outside observer saw all of us interacting they would think we’re nuts or a real life crazy reality show unscripted. It’s not that we didn’t want her love or care or concern, but we could do without the constant commentary and opinion. Constant. Love her and miss her but I find myself wanting to give people “Mind your own plate” checks all over the place. We actually kidded with her that we were going to cross-stitch it and hang it in her kitchen.
You see, there’s a balance to offering one’s opinion to someone or giving advice or making random commentary about someone’s life choices or even day-to-day living. You need to do it in love and you need to give that person a little respect. If you think they’re a moron and you’re giving the advice or the telling what to do from a place of arrogance or superiority or just bossy-ness, than shush. Don’t even say anything. People can see through that stuff. And no one likes to be talked down to. No one wants to be that “dumb” person that doesn’t get it. And who do you think you are to think that you have all the answers to the questions of the universe?
Did Jesus give all the answers? Did he walk up to each of the disciples and dissect their every problem and shortcoming and say here you go, fix it? Did he go around criticizing everything around him? Nope. He did speak a prophetic word when people needed it. He did speak the truth in love. He did have a deep enough relationship with people that he could do that with sincerity and not come off like a jerk.
Maybe this is a bit of a rant but particularly at the start of a semester when people are sizing one another up and making judgments, maybe we should think twice about the assumptions we’re making. We all have our stuff that we deal with and if we’re to be community in the world, than we share with each other and want to get to know one another better. So let’s give a little grace. Not frowns or unwarranted disapproval. But treating each other in love.
One of the Wesley interns posted Romans 12:9-10 the other day on facebook and I think it sums up what I’m trying to say, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Honor each other. Don’t cut each other down. Don’t make those comments under your breath that don’t build anyone up. Don’t make assumptions. Give one another the benefit of the doubt and ask yourself – in all seriousness – what would Jesus do?
This past March the students and I went on a trip to Washington, D.C. on a seminar by the General Board of Church and Society on Human Trafficking. There were so many things that struck us at the time, both the things that were disillusioning like walking into the Senate chamber and only 3 Senators being in there and the things that were truly moving like many of the war memorials that we saw.
The thing that was most hard for us to understand was how our houses of Congress work now. I had never been on a tour of the Capitol building before and it was really neat to see the sculptures and history. It was really cool going under the ground in the little cars made by Walt Disney. It was amazing that our Senator’s office squeezed us in under short notice and that we got such a great tour.
It was one of the most disheartening things I’ve seen to witness an empty room with three Senators going back and forth over air quality and asthma and these Senators primarily talking to the camera because there wasn’t hardly anyone else in there to hear them. I understand what the aid said that these days our Congress people get briefed in the mornings and evenings and the transcripts are given to them and they are pretty much told how to vote in their briefings. I also understood when he said that today our Congress people have to work hard with their constituencies taking meetings and working on those things during the day so that they can get re-elected. I get that getting to that place is not easy and I’m sure it takes a lot of money and support and you’ve got to keep the people that give you those happy. I get that.
What I don’t get is why we keep letting this broken system survive without all saying, “Enough.” This is ridiculous. I’ve heard most of my life that you’ve got to work in the system to change the system and I get that. You’ve got to know what you’re dealing with and sometimes be able to speak the language so that change can happen. But we are also called to be in the world and not of it. We can be in the system and understand the system, but we don’t have to be one of the people sucked into it and trying to make it survive without glance at justice or mercy or ethics or even some good ole character and integrity.
I’m not talking about pointing fingers and blaming this group or that group or this person or that person for all of our problems. I’m not talking about demonizing some of our fellow Americans even if we may completely disagree with them and think x, y, z about them. The bottom line is that we are all in this TOGETHER. We don’t need to waste our time trying to pit people against one another. We don’t need to waste our time blaming all of our problems big and small on a select party or group or body. We need to work at solutions, asking the right questions, having a dialogue with one another, figuring out ways that we can live it out with or without the support of the powers that be.
I realize that power is a precarious thing and I know that nothing is ever “that” simple, but I would love to see leaders that lead. Not just when it’s popular. Not just the party line. (Either party.) Not just what you’re told. But what you think. What you have discerned. What you have wrestled with.
I know that Washington is not just a movie – it’s not just Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, The American President, Air Force One, or even the President’s speech in Independence Day. But we’ve got to do something here. In this nation that seems more and more divided. In a place where unemployment is growing and I have more and more students graduating without finding jobs and more and more coming in barely making it through on loans and what little they can make on part-time jobs and not even enough money for raman noodles.
The thing that most moved me in Washington was the Lincoln Memorial. Reading those words on either side, the Gettysburg Address and the Second Inaugural Address, and the face of a Congress that even then was working on a budget – was a powerful contrast. There’s no way we’re more divided now than we were then and yet the words of Lincoln ring out. “With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves, and with all nations.”
We may not be a nation warring with each other but it is time to bind up the wounds of our people. When it is clear that many of our children are going hungry. Many parents are wondering how to provide. Our churches and organizations that are working to clothe and feed and help educate and give shelter, have more than enough work to last a lifetime and the numbers are doubling and tripling and growing by leaps and bounds. Do I think all of the responsibility lies in Washington? No. Do I think it all depends on a President to shape the course? No. But I think it’s a start. There are unsung heroes all around and I know that God’s people are faithful and that the words of Micah to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God are words that many are living by not by just words but with their lives.
When I think about that nation that I believe in, this crazy idea of America, of freedom, of representation by the people for the people, I don’t think of trillions of dollars spent on defense. I don’t think about loop holes or pork barrel spending or people after their own wealth or power. I don’t think of people wasting time talking to the media or to the rich and wealthy in their districts. I think about the men and women who have fought to make this freedom a reality. I think of those who live their lives every day with grace and mercy and selfless service. Not people that are going to cram an ideology or there own culture onto someone else.
I pray for people to step up in conscience and discernment. I pray for people that will say, “Enough.” I pray for people who go back to their roots of what this country was founded upon, of what truly makes us a great nation – not a superpower, but a great nation that has character and respect. I pray for the people hanging in the balance of some of these programs and spending and I pray that we as faith communities step up and see how we can reach out across our communities and lead the way. I pray that we will open ourselves up to the One who knows all of our needs and who can direct our course, to the One who doesn’t just bless America, but seeks to be in community and relationship with the whole world. Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.
The Gettysburg Address – Abraham Lincoln
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
The Speech on The American President
What would “A Great Nation” look like to you? What do we as a church do to step up ready to work and to grow and to fight in this battle for justice and mercy? (Yes, I know I used the word – “fight” – because at this point I feel like we’ve got to dig in and take action no matter what the opposition or what the cop out.)
I am completely slacking on blogs right now which breaks all the rules of regular blogging. Sorry about that! I’ll catch up soon. Right now I’m at a great conference and have tried to be as fully invested in it as possible, but there has been a part of me distracted. Some of you that began following this blog when I started writing after finding out that I had a brain tumor and you walked with me through that journey and the recovery and even though the blog has become a little bit something different, I do still want to give you an update on that good ole brain of mine because I believe that this community of support has been invaluable and really a holy presence in my life and I can’t imagine my life without your prayer and support.
I have been doing 3 month MRI and neurosurgeon check ups over the past year. For the most part, I try to keep moving with life and I give a sincere and concerted effort not to let these worries and fears rule over my life. Then comes the time when I get the envelope from Carolina Spine and Neurosurgery in the mail with all of my appointment times and as Mike and I see it, I can feel the background stress and tension in me and those I love. The unknown is so completely…humbling…scary…difficult. There’s so much to unpack there but that would be an incredibly long blog and mine are already probably way too long.
Last week I went to my (I don’t really care to remember how many its been now) whatevereth MRI and the techs were asking how I was doing and what I was there for, all that good stuff and I told them my hope that maybe this was the visit where I could be increased to every 6 months or every year instead of every 3 months.
On Monday I met with the neurosurgeon and he said that it was the radiologist’s opinion that the part of the tumor still up there in brain/motor cortex land may have grown slightly but that it was very slight. His opinion was that he didn’t see a change and disagreed with the radiologist. We then had a lovely back and forth where I looked at the comparison MRI’s myself and tried to understand and that I got a chance to ask some hard questions. Since Mike was not with me, I could ask some of the things that I want to know and would like to understand but that I don’t want to alarm, worry or hurt someone else by them hearing the questions or the answers. Does that make sense?
So even though it was not my most favorite news in the world, I was okay. My amazing doctor said he was going to take the tumor to the tumor board for them to decide if it had grown or not. I called Mike and my parents on the way home and was okay.
Primarily I was okay because I was leaving the next morning for a conference and I just didn’t have the emotional energy or the whatever to process it.
Yesterday afternoon while I was in a workshop, the doctor left a message and when I hear him say his name I immediately get a little freaked out on the inside even though he’s a fabulous doctor – like fabulous – but it’s just anxiety producing. But then he says an AMAZING thing – the tumor board doesn’t see any change. AND because this place on my lovely brain has stayed consistent this year, I get to stretch the time between MRI’s to 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I could probably mash exclamation points for a while on that one.) That may seem like a little thing, but it’s such an act of hope and grace and peace to me.
And though I didn’t shed a tear on Monday, I couldn’t stop crying off and on yesterday evening. Is that crazy? The bad news – I take it and I’m like let’s do this thing. The good news – I’m a basketcase. In talking with a dear friend and colleague about this last night I told her as I was trying to process and express my layers of feelings that I really needed to blog about this. For some odd, crazy reason this is how I started this journey – blogging. And it has been such a healing and cathartic piece or even peace for me. There’s something about putting it out there in writing and narrative that makes it something that I feel a little more grounded in. I guess we each have our mediums – whether it’s walking outside or making pottery or playing baseball or journaling. And I am thankful for this one.
In the midst of this I know that there are those walking incredibly hard and deep and heartbreaking journeys right now. I think of the family members that are living this reality right now and the friends and loved ones who have faced challenges that I know not of. Please do lift up in prayer those who are in the midst of the struggle of the unknown and in this thin place where anger and fear and sadness and grief and life and death and joy and pain are so close to the surface at times. Each of us walks this journey at times.
And we’re not alone.
I have seen Christ in the colleagues that I’ve shared with here and that continue to uplift and inspire and challenge and hold me accountable. I have seen Christ in my family who continue to battle for me. I have seen Christ in the countless people that continue to tell me they’re praying for me or those that just give me space to be…and to feel…and to just cry or laugh or talk about it or not talk about it. I have seen Christ when I’m by myself and I am vulnerable and just laid bare as a child of God. Although there is no doubt that I would not have chosen for this piece of the puzzle of life, I have felt Christ’s Spirit and promise more tangibly and have felt the Body of Christ more profoundly and genuine than I have felt in my life.
I am grateful for a community of people that I can keep it real with on the sad days and the angry days and the joyous days and the rock and roll days. I am grateful for a Savior who continues to be that Great Redeemer and Strong Protector and just that Amazing Grace who support us and girds us up in mighty, mighty ways.
So that’s my brain.
And one of the awesome things – 6 MONTHS!!!!!
Grace and peace to all of you. I am gratefu for you all.
It’s a dreary gray day here in South Carolina. We need the rain and I’m loving the cooler weather. I’d probably be down with the gray skies too except it’s doing more pouting and looking gloomy than actually raining. Let’s get it going clouds!
It’s funny to me how much the weather can affect our moods. Every Wednesday when I would write the Wesley Weekly email to the students I finally realized I talk about the weather all the time. My desk faces some big windows so you see where mind is.
Right now I’m closing out our Summer newsletter getting ready for a conference and doing various crazy things that are on the never-ending to do list. But I’m reminded how easy it is to get derailed. You can get some bad news or read something on facebook or email or hear about a meeting where your name came up or remember something that can send your day in a spiral. Or you could in general not be feeling well or be in the midst of something that has you just feeling blah. Sometimes I’ll find myself not in the greatest of moods and I’ll have I try to remember – when did I start feeling this way? Is this just a general “funk” or did something prompt this?
We all have different triggers. Some of those are questions about the future or if we’re really living our vocation or what we’re called to do or money concerns or health concerns or family worries or whatever. There’s all sorts of anxieties and fears out there and it’s almost like the lie in wait for us in the shadows ready to jump is or being to creep in.
I have this funny suspicion that Jesus doesn’t want us to live a life of burdensome worries and mopey-ness. I’m not saying Jesus wants you to be sunshine and rainbows all the time and I totally believe he walks with us in the most mopey of mopeys, but I also think there are some days when we’ve just go to jam.
The song, “Tonight, Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae keeps popping up on my radio and I keep playing it on my youtube at work. Don’t worry I haven’t watched all 5 million times that it says it’s been viewed. Do you ever just jam in your car when you hear a song that is just fun and funny and you just start dancing and digging it? Or have you ever done that with a group of friends or on a retreat or whatever? I distinctly have some of those memories with Faith Hill’s This Kiss and Macy Gray and the Dixie Chicks.
I’ve been playing this song, one to keep me moving and awake on this dreary day, but also because it’s fun to jam sometimes. Can you picture Jesus jamming along with you? A stretch? Maybe not. But I can totally feel like sometimes we just have to let go and get moving. Sometimes that means regrouping. Sometimes that means some new inspiration. Can you hear Jesus being the one that says, “Come on?” or “We can get crazy, let it all out.” Now I’m so not saying that this was the intent of this wonderful Hot Chelle Rae. Probably far from it.
But I am thankful for this sort of fun music that make you feel like you’re joining a live, active, vibrant party. It’s not always a party day, but I’d like to think that Jesus invites us to the dance and seeks to give us that abundant rockin’ life!
So if you come by office today, be prepared – you could see a very silly and terribly dancing Narcie. Join in. Dance. Have some fun. Even on a rainy day. Even the uncoordinated kids. Even the serious and grouchy among us. Even the ones that certainly don’t have time for this.
Join the dance.
And may that energy and passion and fun and levity and release and liberating feeling bleed over into our faith. Yep, life can be challenging at times, but it’s also awesome and amazing and so much to be thankful for! This isn’t a prosperity Gospel but it is join in on the freedom and contagious fun of life in Christ!
It’s that time of year in campus ministry world when we’re enjoying Orientation. What that means at Winthrop is that we as all of the campus ministries (WCCM – Winthrop Cooperative Campus Ministries) come together and greet people at one table and provide brochures and info about all the groups. We also let students know about the campus ministry open house and worship service for freshmen that we do right after they move in. Good times. A great way for people to get connected and meet other people of faith.
What is always amusing to me is the interactions with the students. As soon as they read the sign on the placard behind me that says “Campus Ministries” some quickly look away and move quickly to the Greek Life table or the Study Abroad table or the DSU (Campus Entertainment/Activities/Awesomeness) table. As parents read the sign though it’s funny to watch them often nudge their child and say, “Look campus ministries. We should go over there.” And the students that then pull them in another direction or say Mo-om or Da-ad, in that lovely two syllable exasperated way many of us Southerners have. I can tell you that 9 times out of 10, that when a parent walks up to our table and signs their student up and the student is no where to be found or the student is standing impatiently behind the parent or grandparent hoping that they’ll just sign them up and be done with it – we’ll never see that student. Sometimes it happens. Rarely. But that’s the thing about college – it’s on the student/young adult/person making their way on their own.
Two things happened today that were thought-provoking for me. The first was a lady who stopped and got a card. Her child wasn’t with her but she said that she wanted her to be involved with campus ministry. She said that her daughter had never been involved in church and hadn’t ever really been inside one except for funerals and she really wished she would get involved. She then said that the girl was dating a nice Christian boy that goes to church and she was hoping that maybe she would start going.
The other was a guy who walked up to the table and I smiled at home and he’s reaching his hand out to shake mine and I’m about to give him a WCCM card that has our website info with all of the campus ministries listed, and he reads the placard above my head that says “Campus Ministries” and then quickly jerks his hand back and says that’s okay. I don’t need one of those cards. Ouch, dude.
It’s just really funny dynamics. Some are super excited to hear about campus ministry on campus and this new church experience. Some of our strongest leaders at Wesley are people I met at Orientation or at the beginning of the year Open House. But I do wonder about all of the ones that cringe and walk away.
I ate lunch in the student center yesterday with the Dean of Students who is also our Board Chairperson. She stopped to talk to some of the Orientation Assistants and I joined her. At the end of the conversation she introduced me as the United Methodist Campus Minister. As we were walking away afterwards, she asked if I had noticed how they blinked and paused. She’s a campus minister? Who knows what they were thinking? I had seen a few of them before but didn’t know any of them.
There’s so much rich ground to cover here – what is the perception of the Church today? What do these young adults think of when they hear campus ministry? I have the feeling that some of them think I’m going to make them walk over to the West Center and jump in the pool so I can baptize them right there. The mixed bag of looks from relief and joy and hope at finding a community to apprehension, mistrust and all sorts of things. It’s interesting.
I’m curious whether more or less students would stop at religious affiliated tables in different parts of the country. It’s always fun to see which denominational affiliation stops by or the increase in how many people check non-denominational.
My primary question today though, in the midst of the news covering Koran burnings, church trials, and the like – what does this new class think of when they hear the word “Christian”? What do they think of in the importance of finding a community of faith while in college? Are they going to stay connected to their churches back home and just take a break for awhile? What does it mean to be Church? What are the differences and similarities in how we would define that?
I’ve been contemplating and playing over a blog post in my mind for a bit about two of the songs from The Book of Mormon Musical on Broadway. I know, I know…one day I will have run out of songs to talk about. The first song is called, “Sal Tlay Ka Siti” or in other words Salt Lake City. Nikki James sings a beautiful song that is endemic of the entire musical – it’s such a funny, both mocking and serious look at faith and harsh reality and the conflict that is of the somewhat prosperity gospel that is sometimes preached and how that is seen and viewed in the various lenses of most of the world.
It’s an interesting tension. And for me it really is a tension. I’ve spent most of the day working going over the budget and expenditures for this year at Wesley and budgeting for the year ahead. As some of you know, this past year our Annual Conference stopped providing program or building support for our campus ministries, but is still covering our salaries and benefits (which we’re really thankful for). As scary as that was, people stepped up in huge ways this year. And we have tried to use that money wisely – from mission trips to educational and missional opportunities on campus to small groups to worship to training up leaders and people going into ministry and everything in between. It’s exciting to look at. We couldn’t have taken students to training events without you. We couldn’t be in ministry with the poor and hungry here in York County, in our state and around the world without you. So I’m thankful for that. Hugely. Especially as we start visioning for a new year.
This afternoon, actually right now, I’m on a conference call with some folks working on getting equipment for the Women’s Spinning Plant, a cooperative of the CDCA (Center for Development in Central America) to be working and functional. We have worked with these women making concrete blocks, pouring concrete in the floors of the building, and tying rubar. We’ve protested the company that mislead them. We look forward to visiting again in August and continuing to work alongside these faithful, resilient, strong and powerful women and men who have withstood and determinedly marched on in the midst of all sorts of adversity.
See that’s the rub. When I think about what so many around the world are facing in terms of World Refugee Day that we celebrated earlier this week, those in the midst of war zones, atrocities that we can’t imagine, it really puts things in perspective.
We are beyond so blessed here. And to me blessed isn’t even the right word in some ways because to me that implies that God has blessed us and not someone else just because they were born in a different place to a different family in a different set of circumstances.
It just seems like a lot of time we throw our own “stuff” around and we’re selling people this line that may not be ours to sell and sometimes it even seems cheap and cliched somehow. One of the last numbers in the musical is the two lovely white guy mormons singing, “I Am Africa.” It’s very a la “We are the World” or something along those lines. And I’m not trying to hate on we are the world or Live Aid or the other benefit concerts or celebrity commercials out there. I’m really not. That raises money. And if it raises money and the money gets to the right people who will put their money out there and not just fund overhead and all of the work getting into a country, that’s a great thing. There are so many good folks like the CDCA, UMCOR, Church World Service, International Justice Mission, Imagine No Malaria that are doing work on the ground with people in-country who speak the language of the people and are being as least patronizing and colonializing as possible. And these folks aren’t doing the bait and switch and they’re not peddling mink coats.
Don’t have any huge answers today, but I just wanted to name the tension between our problems (check out those tweets #firstworldproblems by the way) and the things that are facing much of the world.
Still a big believer in the tremendous groups working on the ground and who live it out every day. Still a big believer in hope and love and humanity. But wrestling with all that these songs evoke in my mind. Which is what I think the writers did in a beautifully comedic and amazing way. To take something so funny and sarcastic and ironic and put so much real life and struggle in it – powerful stuff.
When it all boils down – what is the Gospel? How do we speak that clearly to the person next door, down the street, in the next state over, on the other side of the world? How do we share our faith in real language in the face of real problems?
Check out the words for Sal Tlay Ka Siti below.
My mother once told me of a place with waterfalls and unicorns flying
Where there was no suffering, no pain, where there was laughter instead of dying
I always thought she’d made it up to comfort me in times of pain
But now I know that place is real, now I know its name
Sal Tlay Ka Siti: not just a story mama told
But a village in Ooh-tah, where the roofs are thatched with gold
If I could let myself believe, I know just where I’d be
Right on the next bus to paradise: Sal Tlay Ka Siti
I can imagine what it must be like…this perfect, happy place
I’ll bet the goat meat there is plentiful, and they have vitamin injections by the case
The warlords there are friendly, they help you cross the street
And there’s a Red Cross on every corner with all the flour you can eat!
Sal Tlay Ka Siti: the most perfect place on Earth
Where flies don’t bite your eyeballs and human life has worth
It isn’t a place of fairy tales, it’s as real as it can be
A land where evil doesn’t exist: Sal Tlay Ka Siti
And I’ll bet the people are open-minded and don’t care who you’ve been
And all I hope is that when I find it, I’m able to fit in
Will I fit in?
Sal Tlay Ka Siti: a land of hope and joy
And if I want to get there, I just have to follow that white boy
You were right, mama, you didn’t lie
The place is real, and I’m gonna fly!
I’m on way…soon life won’t be so shitty
Now salvation has a name: Sal Tlay Ka Siti
Video for Sal Tlay Ka Siti
We have this poster framed on one of our tables in Wesley. I’ve always liked it because a lot of what we do with CROP Walk or Stop Hunger Now or Imagine No Malaria focuses on not just spreading a message of faith to folks but also feeding the hungry and providing basic needs. But singing “We Are Africa” in my head over and over because it won’t get out, part of me think this can be patronizing in some ways as well, because the continent of Africa is not the only region that faces these concerns. Again, things to think about.
One of my favorite books as a child was “There Was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly.” My grandmother was a librarian so she had the inside track on all of the good children’s books when we were growing up. I don’t know if it was the rhyming or the irony of my lovingly prissy grandmother reading us this book about an old lady who swallowed a fly, but I loved that book. It’s kind of morbid if you read all the lines but hey – it was memorable.
Blessings on the Journey 