Category: Tumor

Posted in Culture, Faith, Family, Health, Methodism, Movies, Tumor

Healing

Posted on by narciejeter

I’m sorry I’ve been slack in my blogging duties.  Things have been busy!  We still haven’t heard from the pathology report yet so no news there, but I have had a great couple days with Enoch and Evy!  We went to the pool and played and I slept in my own bed and woke up with the kids and we played some more so that was wonderful!  It was good to open mail, pay some bills, and do regular stuff around the house and get to see the kiddos.  It amazes me how quickly they grow and change.

A friend of mine posted earlier on facebook that she’s preaching about healing tomorrow and I was catching up reading Advocates and I noticed an article that talked about the healing service in the UM Book of Worship being a meaningful service for a lot of folks and one of our churches providing these services once a month for people.  I’ve been thinking about it all day.  Healing.

Tonight Mike and I went to see Iron Man II and even in that there was the need for healing.  Sure Mr. Stark is a smart mouth (and there were a lot of funny parts in there), but the a-ha moment of the movie is him seeing a video of his inventor/genius dad telling him that he was his greatest invention, blah, blah, blah…and then him figuring out the puzzle of how to beat the bad guys, etc.  He needed to hear that he mattered to his dad and that he loved him.  Just like Tony Stark, we each have past “stuff” that needs healing.  We each carry baggage around with us – some of us have painted smiley faces on it or it’s the LV designer line or there are a gazillion different pieces of all shapes and sizes with pink tags stuck to them.  Whatever they look like – they’re our junk that goes with us.  For some of us it’s the Tony Stark need to feel validated or loved or okay or good enough or like we make the cut.  For some of us it’s letting go of hurt or anger or grief or frustration or just drama.  For some of us it’s the self-sabotage and nagging that we do to ourselves.  For some of us it’s pride and self-centeredness. (maybe that’s just those of us that are self-interested enough to write blogs.)  For some of us that’s not feeling at home in who we are or who we’ve been created to be or wanting what someone else has.  For some of us that’s knowing that it’s okay for everyone not to like us at all times of every day and that’s perfectly fine too.

It’s such a delicate balance that whole letting go and letting God thing that we do because our baggage in a lot of ways is what makes us – us.  In survival mode we tend to hold even tighter to the things that are familiar even if they are the ones that have harmed us because it’s what we know.  I’ve never been the hugest of Oprah fans.  I watch.  Hello – at 4 pm in the afternoon what do you watch if not that and don’t tell me ESPN.  But since she got into this whole new age kick and has been talking like she’s this all knowing being, I haven’t really jived with her as well as before.  Anyway, in thinking about this whole healing thing and our baggage, I start thinking in some ways like this new age person – the whole surround yourself and draw to yourself all the good in the universe and release all the bad.  You know the whole clear yourself of the toxins thing.

And I do believe it.  I plan on getting a lovely massage, body scrub, fascial extravaganza at Belue Day Spa next week because I want to scrub away any sign of the hospital and cleanse my body and soul from this whole thing.  I do believe that we’ve got to release all of the cruddy yuckiness whether that be someone that gets on our last nerves or someone that has really hurt our feelings or someone who has told us we’re not good enough or smart enough or whatever enough or people that have generally made our lives little pits of you know where.  Holding on to any of that awfulness is not of God and it is not healthy.  Those are the toxins.  If only we could drink enough glasses of water to really cleanse ourselves of all of these deep and abiding hurts so that we can really experience healing.  We somehow remember the most meaningless of little things if it is hurtful to us.  That thing in the 8th grade that someone told us that really hurt our feelings should have no bearing on the life that we have now and yet somehow, those wounds are still there and often it’s the times of fear that bring them back.

I have fibromyalgia.  No, I am not a Lyrica commercial.  Yes, the Lyrica commercials actually get on my nerves.  Yes, I guess they help people know what it is, but who knows?  I know that on the tv show House, the lovely Gregory said that fibromyalgia doesn’t exist.  I also know that the neurologist I saw a week and a half ago didn’t believe in it either and just said it was a form of depression.  Wow.  Not even touching that one with a 10 foot pole except that we’re going to a different neurologist.  And know it has no relation to the brain tumor and no treatment of the tumor will not help it.  (I say these things because these are some of the questions we’ve asked too!)  I’m not telling you that I have fibromyalgia for any other reason than to say I know that there are many people that seek and search for healing.  I’m a part of a small clergywomen’s group – there’s maybe 7 of us total – and more than half of us have fibromyalgia.  That’s crazy.  Or maybe we’re just masichistic people.  All of us are in different stages of this journey and have found different ways to love and enjoy life but I know that all of us struggle with serving this creator God of love and seeking urgently to be healed.

The summer I moved back to Rock Hill was especially hard for me because I loved Atlanta and Emory and my home there.  It was a hot summer, Mike was traveling back and forth to Atlanta and the Winthrop students hadn’t arrived yet and I was feeling out of my element.  In the midst of the fibro and just feeling all out lowsy sometimes my mom gave me this verse written on this little card with a chick (you know the baby chicken not the other kind) on the front.  She told me I needed to claim it.  Jeremiah 17:14 “Heal me, O Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.”  It rocked it out in my pocketbook for a while and then got a little faded so has made its way into my wallet.  There have been plenty of times when I have felt cruddy.  Hello stitches on my head.  There have been plenty of times when I know that there has got to be someone more suited for this or better equipped or in better shape or more eloquent or smarter or more organized or more extroverted or charismatic or a better fundraiser, but you just can’t argue with something as simple as “Heal me, O Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.”

Some of you may say well that’s stupid blind faith.  Nope.  Not a bit.  It to me is saying that it’s not just about this.  It’s not just about our present baggage whether that’s physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, whatever.  It’s about the larger picture – the larger story of our life – “Heal me, O Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.”  I don’t imagine Tony Stark saying that.  Bahahahaha….  But I do invite us (me) to remember that and to say those words and trust those words not just with the big things like brain tumors, but with the little things in between.  We had a girl’s night this past week and saw Letters to Juliet.  (I know you’re thinking – is this girl ever at home resting – don’t worry – I am.)  It was a predictable but really great movie.  I loved watching Vanessa Redgrave and the thing that stuck out to me was when they’re pulling up at this really nice house and the guy (her grandson) says something along the lines of wow Gran what if we could end up living here.   You meet the love of your life at 16, skip the messy bits and then go straight to living in the mansion in your old age.  What I liked was what she said in return.  “LIFE is the messy bits.”  Life is the messy bits.  Yes, the messy bits are what make us who we are.  The messy bits are what makes the tapestry of our lives.  The messy bits have been woven together to make the amazing mosaics of color and light that shine forth through us.  God knows all of our messy bits.  Those things that nobody knows.  Those things that only a very few select people know.  Those mortifying things that whole gaggles of folks know but we’re still not saying them outloud.  Our messy bits are all out there.  I hope that we have the courage to let the light of God break in on those.  That the healing good energy (okay Oprah) can surge through.  That the prayers of cleansing and powerful might of refinishing that is even beyond that of a good spa day – may open our minds, bodies, and souls up to healing beyond our imagination.

Whatever those words that we need to hear.  Whatever the feelings and memories and people that we need to let go.  Whatever the beautiful and cleansing energy we need to grasp hold of.  May we feel refreshed.  May we feel renewed.  May we feel at home with the One who heals us and knows us intimately.

Posted in Culture, Faith, Family, Health, Music, Tumor

The Buzz

Posted on by narciejeter

I’m still at Josh’s house (a huge thanks to Josh and Karen for letting us become squatters in their lovely home) and Josh, Karen, Mike and Mom are watching the World Cup and I can hear that lovely buzz of horns that everyone seems intent to whine about.  What becomes a big deal to us these days?  LOL.

For those that are wondering what the latest buzz is here – there isn’t too terribly much.  As y’all know we saw the doctor on Saturday morning and he told us we would get the pathology results back on Tuesday or Wednesday.  Wednesday is almost over but onward we go without any word.  A dear clergywomen friend of mine called me earlier while I was at Wesley and she said I didn’t sound like myself and I was like OMG – you called me on a number I didn’t know so I thought you were the pathologist….It was practically the only phone call of the day.

So what have we been doing over the past couple days…well, I’ve read a lot of trashy magazines so let me tell you about the twihards and the latest with Robsten.  I have eaten a lot of good food – from church folk to students to clergy colleagues and campus ministers – y’all know a way to a person’s heart!  I have watched some very useless and mind-numbing tv – soap operas are so much more violent and even more insane than they used to be.  I’ve played Farmville – although it’s slower now and getting on my nerves a bit.  I’ve even started trying to do more twitter.  Some great students tonight showed me how to fix the background of my blog and so I guess I’m moving into the next decade or so…hopefully.

Overall there’s a lot of waiting.  I guess and wondering too, but that’s like a duh no brainer.  It’s hard being away from my kids but that’s a duh no brainer too.  I got to see Evy yesterday morning while Enoch was at pre-school and then I couldn’t take being away anymore and went and saw both of them last night.  Tomorrow morning Evy will be back again and I’m super excited about that!  We’re trying to keep things as normal as possible for them except that Mommy has been “at work” a lot this week.  Maybe it’s like the craziness of the beginning of the school year!

I feel like I’m making a lot of people wait right now and I do wish I had some answers.  But then a part of me is like, what am I waiting for anyway?  I want to get this brain healed and these stiches out and go back to playing with my kids and doing the things I love!  Not that Camp Josh and Karen’s hasn’t been great but what is the end date of this thing?

The problem with questions though is that it just leads to questions.  Well when is any end date?  I’m not talking about the finale of LOST but about when do we really ever know any answer?  Are we to wrestle with questions and answers to the end of time?  What do we hold to be true?  What/Who/in Whom do we trust?  Trust is such a big part of this.  Who do we trust with our info, with our identities, with our hearts?  Do we freely give these out or do we hold tight and protect?  Is it a little something of both and where do we draw the line?

The Upper Room today (I get the one online by email because it’s the easiest thing to do and I don’t know if it’s the same one in print form) has been a comfort to me lately.  The highlighted verses were from Romans 8:28-39.  I’ll post it below for you guys.  It’s verses that I’ve said many a times to students about God working all things for good for those who love God and the whole if God can be for us, who can be against us, and more than conquerors and so many good things.  What I like best (I hesitate when saying best with anything because that may change tomorrow) but what resonnates with me tonight as it did this morning is that NOTHING separates from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.  Nothing.

I may not understand why some people end up this way and others end up that way,  why some people seem to get a free pass at life and others a rocky road, or why the sky is blue, but I know that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God.  A friend of mine emailed me a couple days ago about a close family friend that just passed away at 31 of Hodgkins lymphoma and she very wisely and bravely and honestly shared some of the questions that I think we each have when we’re faced with something like that.  She asked “Who does God select to call home?  Who does God select to heal and create miracles?”  Who?

She said they were child-like questions, but I think they are questions that on the darkest days in our hearts we know that these are the whens, and whys, and hows and what in the craps, that we want to know.  It seems cliche and not at all helpful to say I don’t know.  But I don’t.  We don’t.  I know that I believe in the power of prayer and that miracles happen all around us every day.  I’m a Momma T follower that believes little things done with great love can change our world.  And I know and can rest assured that NOTHING separates us from the love of God.  Nothing can separate us from that.  May we feel it.  Even when we’re in a ticked off mood having a not so good day or when we are at our lowest point – may we just taste the presence of God.  My mom has a student whose mother is most likely going to lose her second battle with cancer in the coming days.  And for her I know we ache.  We each know these stories and each of us has felt this pain and loss at one time or another.

May we release that.  May we say outloud our doubts and our fears and our questions and our let’s just be honest profanities sometimes and say COME ON!!!!  God is a big God and can take it.  Rest assured.  And this doesn’t even have to be a one time occasion.  But let’s also pull in all the good and grasp hold of that with two white knuckled fists and say heck yeah to all of the ways God amazes the socks off us and shows us things we didn’t think possible.  Try it.  Just try it.  Even at our lowest moments – there’s still this shining light we just can’t shake….like the buzz of a world cup horn in our ears….

“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.
What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:28-39 (don’t get me into all the exegesis of this one, but just see what it speaks to you!=0))

Haven’t posted any music to y’all lately.  Here’s another one that I love from church – Britt Nicole’s “The Lost Get Found.”  Maybe I like poppy music but this one is just fun!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4GmLRTJq1w

Posted in Culture, Faith, Family, Health, Tumor

Clemson Game

Posted on by narciejeter

Welp, we’re watching the Clemson game.  South Carolina’s going to Omaha so Dad is happy and hopefully Clemson will head that way as well.  Now that will be a big deal!

Resting today.  Taking the medicine and good ole steroids and hanging out on Josh and Karen’s couch.  We’re very glad that I can stay here so that the kids don’t freak out and I can rest but I miss them a ton!  Evy’s going to come for a visit while Enoch is at preschool tomorrow so that will be good.

Well the stitches are a lot farther across than we thought.  They go from one ear to two inches of the other which is a little insane – way to go modern medicine.  Karen set up a great scarf on my head earlier and so we should be good to go.

I’m really glad that this happened during the summer and that there’s some downtime built into everything.  I’m trying to process all of this slowly and deliberately and take things a day at a time.  We don’t have brain tumors in our family.  We don’t have any hereditary factors that we know of and yes we are waiting to hear the pathology reports.  When Mike asked the doctor on Friday if we should have hope that I wouldn’t have to worry about this over the next  5 years he said no, so I’m trying to realize that this is for the long haul and that it’s one step at a time.

They say that it is an astrocytoma which in more understandable words to me means that it’s shaped like a starfish.  It reminds me of the old proverb where the starfish keep washing up to shore and to save their lives you keep throwing back as many as you can but you really wish they would just stop washing up so you wouldn’t have to save them.  There are little bits that we can do every day to do our part to make the world a better place.  In my inbox this morning was a request from Bread for the World asking for help.  Below is their message.  I appreciate your help in calling and making your voices heard.  We can’t save all the starfishes in the world, but we can do the best we can with what we’ve been given.

Much love to each of you and God’s peace!

=0), Narcie

On Tuesday, June 15, Bread for the World members from across the country will visit their members of Congress on Capitol Hill to ask them to support millions of low-income working families who struggle to make ends meet.
I hope that you will be able to join us. If you can’t come to Lobby Day in person, please call your member of Congress on June 15. Please call your senators or representative using our special toll-free number (1-800-826-3688). Ask them to make the current Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) and Child Tax Credit levels permanent.
You can explain your message by adding either or both of these points:
If Congress fails to preserve the Child Tax Credit at its current level, a full-time working parent receiving the minimum wage will receive only a $320 credit instead of the current $1,800 credit.  The difference—$1,480—is a modest amount of money that has a big impact on the lives of families struggling to make ends meet.
If the EITC and Child Tax Credit are not continued at current levels, 1.5 million people will fall below the poverty line, including 800,000 children. Find out how many people in your state would be affected.
The combination of a personal visit and your call make for a very strong witness for low-income families who need our help in making ends meet. Thank you.

Posted in Campus Ministry, Culture, Faith, Family, Health, Movies, Music, Tumor

San Francisco

Posted on by narciejeter

Mom and I watched a movie last night with Clark Gable and an opera singer called San Francisco.  Although her opera singing was not the favorite of my ears, the story was decent and talked about the great earthquake and fire of San Francisco and faith and all sorts of interesting historical stuff. It was much better than watching the cartoons, news and newborn channel on the hospital television.

So they’ve taken off the lefthand iv and took out the righthand iv this morning.  They removed the staples from the central line in my neck yesterday so the only things left to do to get me out of here is take the bandage off of my neck and remove the drip.  Definitely gives new thought to the phrase “brain drain.”  Other than that I’m doing pretty well.   I have to admit now that I wasn’t so sure that I was going to wake up as me.  I know that they didn’t say anything about me not being myself when I woke up but with the whole brain thing I was concerned that I was going to just be here but not really be here.  But I am here!  My head hurts of course – duh! but my real slightly silly brain is here and for that I am truly, truly thankful!  If I could do a little jig I probably would (I think of Papa Mac my grandfather dancing down the aisle singing Lord of the Dance with his two leg prostheses).

It’s been sad watching the news here with the floods and I can’t imagine what those families are going through.  Many prayers for each of them and all of the days, weeks, and years ahead.  I keep saying surreally that I just had brain surgery, but I certainly didn’t wake up in the middle of the night with water all around and losing my family.  May God’s peace, strength, and presence surround these people in ways that they can’t even comprehend.

It’s amazing to me the strength of the human spirit and that push to keep going whether to the frontier of San Francisco, that beautiful 16 year old girl wanting to get back out and travel again in her sailboat or in watching this World Cup action and the exhilaration and electricity that come from people uniting in a common theme and cause!  We’ll see what the doctors say in the days and weeks to come.  As Mike told y’all, the doctor got all of the tumor except one line that was where it was fuzzy and close to the motor cortex.  They’ll either wait and see, do some chemo and radiation or will go back in and do another surgery.  Either way looks like I won’t be making it to Nicaragua in August but I know the students will have a blast!

I’m tired and I’m definitely not back to normal, but it feels good to know that I’ll get to see my kids soon and that life is going on as usual for now.  Josh is leading a Bible Study at Annual Conference right now so Mom and I have been praying for him.  He and Dad will travel back this way this afternoon.  Caleb was with us the morning of the surgery and GiGi has been sending us updated picture messages on the phone of the kids.  Mike will be doing the music at St. John’s – Fort Mill this morning.  Renee, Guyeth and Rob visited yesterday and they were each a blessing!  Prayers for Lindsay, my cousin and Guyeth and Rob’s daughter who got t-boned by a car full of 5 guys last night in New Orleans.  Even though it flipped, her Explorer just seemd to have one dent which is a blessing but I know she’s going to be sore and shaken up so prayers for peace, relaxed muscles, and rest.

So life goes on and just like those people in the crazy movie San Francisco – it may not all be pretty and it may be a fight, but it is life and we serve and know and trust the One who goes before us and beside us and ever with us each step of the way.  Praise be to God!

This is the link I wanted to post for you on Friday – it’s a song from Amy Grant’s new record – “Overnight” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cPYk6qB4Q0

  I also wanted to share with you Michael W. Smith’s “Healing Rain.”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo1bjTOFbZA

Posted in Family, Health, Tumor

Goodmorning Doctor

Posted on by narciejeter

I arrived at CMC this morning, and let me tell you that there is not much traffic at the wee hours of a Saturday morning. After being reprimanded for coming during shift change times I walked around and spoke with Narcie’s nurse. She told me Narcie did great last night, rested as much as she could, and had the MRI at 1.00 am! I then walked in with Narcie and she was sitting in a chair eating breakfast, grits, sausage, eggs, biscuit, & apple juice. Yeah, she’s feeling better, the grits were gone…
The doctor then came in and told us the MRI showed a bit of of the tumor was still there, but that was to be expected, the edges of the tumor were fuzzy. Now we wait for the pathology reports to give more info to make a plan of action (radiation and all that stuff). The doctor then said everything they saw indicates we do not need to act quickly. So the tumor has proven to still be not cancerous, and not too aggressive. Thank God! But prayers that the pathology report comes back with good news!

Well now she is in her new room and they are expecting her to go home tomorrow, crazy huh?! She will spend a few days at Josh’s house then in a few weeks will be back. Then just waiting for the next MRI…

Soon Narcie will post.

Posted in Faith, Health, Tumor

What we now know

Posted on by narciejeter

Hello Everyone:
Narcie had her surgery this morning and did great! The doctor said those very words. He also told us he does not think she will need another surgery, which in “I talk in terms so you can’t sue me” means: We got all of it, or at least all that matters!!! And Narcie looked great after the surgery, but no she did not come out with super powers or the ability to break-dance.
NOW – what is going on? Well, we are not done with this damned thing. Narcie will probally have to undergo some treatments (we will know soon) and will have to have regular MRIs to make sure “it” does not come back. There is the chance it could, and again we will know more when the pathology (think that’s the right word) report comes back. Essentially the prayer is now that “it” never shows itself again, and in 20 years Narcie and I are hearing about how the doctor’s kids are doing in college. Maybe Narcie will be their campus minister!

I must say the out pouring of love has been tremendous & overwhelming. You have earnestly offered help in ways that I never expected and I have been moved each time. Thank you for all the prayers that have been offered on Narcie’s behalf. We truly believe that prayer can move mountains, and we are in the midst of this one. So please, let’s keep Narcie and her continued recovery in our prayers.
I think that is everything.
I love you all for your support during this trying time.
Mike

Posted in Faith, Family, Health, Television, Tumor

The Night Before

Posted on by narciejeter

No television shows tonight.  I was hoping Grey’s Anatomy would be on to help gear me up but no, still basketball.  Do think it’s cool it’s the Celtics and the Lakers and close games but other than that – I don’t care at all.

I’m tired.  It was amazingly amazing going to conference and I’m super glad I did!  I completely appreciate the prayers and I sure do hope Josh doesn’t melt in his yert (it could be gert I keep getting it wrong).  We had a good night with the kiddos.  The train table arrived and Mike put it together so the E’s will have something fun to play with for the next few days.  GiGi fixed a delicious brunswick stew and we celebrated both Mike’s mom’s (GiGi) and my mom’s (Grammy) birthday since we kind of robbed them of both of them.  GiGi found out the news about my lovely interloper in the noggin on June 2nd her birthday and tomorrow is my mom’s birthday so you get the drift.  But cake was had and the kids were bathed and eventually went to sleep!  They must think that it’s Christmas or something crazy going around here with so many family members in and out and gifts abounding and loose rules on bed time and everything else.

I feel a little bit like it’s the night before Christmas as well – something with anticipation.  Maybe the night before meeting with the Board of Ordained Ministry or some pressure cooked situation like that.  I’m not supposed to eat after midnight so don’t think I’m not going to pop a couple peanut m&m’s with my medicine while I still have the chance.  Other than that, the bags are packed, the bills for casa de Jeter and Wesley are paid, and I think everything’s in reasonably good shape for the unknown.

The surgery time has been moved up from arriving at 11:15 and surgery at 1:30 to arriving at 9 am and surgery at 11:15 am.  I’d like to think this is because the neurosurgeon is so super excited to go ahead and get going on this thing that he’s as geared up to get rid of this as I am.  Could be.  Or could be simple scheduling but I still like to think of him gearing up to take out this lovely thing in my head.

I have felt so much reassurance and love and prayers and encouragment and I think if I had hugged one more person at Annual Conference I might would have melted, but it’s good to have that community around you rallying.  Much like a basketball game or other crazy sporting event, you want to have some team spirit and folks cheering you on and into the game not just passively watching, but all up in it.  I hope that’s how we are when we’re church with one another.  We’re not just watching from the sidelines but we have a Saviour who gets messy and is sweaty and drinking the gatorade and gearing up right along with everyone else.  Our Bishop today talked a lot about the least of these today and the passage where there’s the back and forth of Yo Jesus, when did I see you and you were hungry and I didn’t do anything at all about it or when did I see you homeless and didn’t offer you a place to stay, etc. etc. on back to the highlight of inasmuch as you have done it for the least of these my people – you have done it for me.  Situations like this can’t help but be humbling.  Whether asking for a ride or for help to lead a session or for the simple merciful act of prayer – it kind of sucks being the one on the receiving end in our worlds sometime because we see ourselves as the big helpers and fixers and heroes.  But you know what – we can’t always be the ones doing the big wohoo thing – we need to be in the trenches with each other and learning from each other – not in a top down or “here we are to save the day!” kind of thing but in a we’ve all got things to give and we’ve all got things to learn and we’re all in this together.  None of us have it all figured out and none of us are completely clueless.

So I thank all of the medical people tomorrow who’s gift is to do this amazing medical thing that is completely outside of my English/PoliSci brain.  I thank all of the people that can cook, including my husband and mother in law because we all know that I don’t.  I thank all of the people with gifts of encouragement and prayer and passion as they share it freely and with such grace to so many people both within their communities and the random strangers that get sent our way.  I thank each of you for your prayers because I really do believe they can move mountains.

I’ve never completely loved professional sports because there’s just something about college sports that show so much more heart (don’t get me started on the University of Southern California today – wow).  But I must say in watching this basketball game – that even though they are making the big bucks either way – they want to win this game!  And even though my doctor tomorrow is making the big bucks either way – I hope he wants to knock it out of the park!  As we all play our parts in the game of life – let’s not sweat the times we get blocked or knocked down or tripped up or schooled once in a while, but let’s keep it moving, keep encouraging each other, keep challenging each other to rise to the occasion, and play our hearts out!

Time for bed.  I’ve got to get pumped up for the big game tomorrow!  (And no I am not going to link to a youtube video of Eye of the Tiger or I Will Survive or whatever, but you get geared up how you need to!)

Posted in Faith, Family, Health, Methodism, Television, Tumor

The Hills

Posted on by narciejeter

Yes, I’m starting to think I watch too much tv.  However I gave up on The Hills when LC left and there’s nothing really on television right now, so whatever – everyone needs a little catch up.  Why in the heck is Audrina talking to Justin Bobby?  Enough of that.

Well, I’m here at Annual Conference.  Mom and I are living it up in the nice hotel room while Dad and Josh are sleeping outside to raise money for the Central Conference Pension Initiative.  Funny.  I had originally promised that I would spend at least one night outside in solidarity but since I’m only here one night, might as well enjoy the hotel room!  I did help make the posters and construct Josh’s gurt.  Probably spelled that wrong.  If I had a camera I would take you a picture but I totally can’t describe it.

Love, love, loved eating some good bar-b-que with the section 316 folks.  It’s good to break into conference with some love and fellowship and church because we are each other’s church.  We’re each other’s community and it’s good to know that and feel that and trust that.  I hope people take advantage of the tent city and sharing meals and sitting with and getting to know new folks because it’s so important to step out of our little boxes and get to know each other and ways other than that superficial.  We have prayer requests that go out over the conference email list but really knowing each other takes a bit more than just sitting through business once a year.  I’m glad that that’s not all that Christian conferencing is and I’m real glad that we can have a little fun and real relationship here.

So as I watched Josh build his hexayurt or whatever the heck it’s called, I saw I missed a call and listened to a voicemail from the neurosurgeon.  He’s on vacation this week but had received the MRI and functional MRI results.  He gave me his cell number and I called him back and talked with him and let me tell you – that was so good.  To call and talk to not an operator or someone taking my information or just doing a courtesy call, but to the real, live doctor that’s going to be taking out this tumor.  He said that the tumor is right beside the motor cortex but it has not invaded it.  I’m telling you I was thinking about the matrix and those yucky bug looking things that try to break into the ship and I’m thinking heck yeah go motor cortex don’t let that yucky stuff get in there, but that’s my weird brain for you.

Anyway, he said that he should be able to get most of it and that should be the main tricky part – the posterior deep lateral part – whatever that means but those are the area to pray for great precision.  Another prayer would be that he said we can hope that under the microscope it will be obvious what the bad brain matter is and what the good brain matter is based on how they look.  So may that be crystal clear – maybe not matrix like yucky stuff, but nevertheless clear.  He said that there is a small chance of some side effects and potential harm, but that the hope of getting it all out is far outweighs the bad potential so I’m good with that.  He again said what they told me about the one night in neurointensive care and then 3-5 days after that but he (and this is why I like him) leaned more towards the 3 days.  His hope was that in 2-3 weeks I’d be getting my energy back and would be ready to rock and roll and that they could then monitor things by MRI.  The pathologists won’t fully get anything back about what the tumor is, etc. for about 2-3 weeks so hopefully as I start to feel better we can then find out what the heck this whole thing was.

I felt a gazillion times better after talking to him.  Hugely.  He said that he would answer any questions I had on Friday as well – gosh, it’s nice to be able to ask questions.  I feel better.  Or maybe that’s the smell from the sharpie markers that we used to make signs for the Central Conference Pension Initiative.  Either way – I feel like giving my brain a high five for keeping the tumor from invading certain parts and I can feel the prayers around me.

Prayers for all of the many people wrestling with stuff right now – whether that be next steps, destinations, or unsettling news.  May we each have the good sense not to go it alone and the community of support around us to carry us home.

Posted in Faith, Family, Health, Music, Tumor

The latest

Posted on by narciejeter

I realize that some of y’all humor my rambles and some of you want to cut to the chase and get the facts of the matter so here is your bare basics for now.

We went to the MRI and Functional MRI today.  We arrived at 2:10 and I went in around 3:15.  Needless to say I got out at close to 6:15 pm.  Wow that was long.  They were doing some sort of research study and I signed some waivers for them to do whatever in the heck they were doing.  Figured it couldn’t hurt.  And then I got to hear a bunch of noise and wiggle my fingers and toes for awhile.  Didn’t hear anything afterwards except that the nurse said that everyone seems on the same page and I have a good neurosurgeon that will be able to answer my questions on Friday.  So – that’s where we are.  I don’t have any more answers than that.

The team (it’s kind of weird having a team) will meet over the next couple of days and we’re still good to go for Friday.  Still going there around 11:15 am and beginning around 1:30 pm at CMC’s main campus.

I am much more worried about afterwards than during but that’s probably my stubborness coming through.  Who likes change?  Especially where a 1 and a half and 3 year old are concerned?  How in the heck will I get ready for the coming school year or be ready to welcome freshman?  Will I be able to play with my kids as usual?  I don’t even want to think about hospital bills, insurance, or co-pays…  And the ever present question about my hair or what this recovery will be like…  It is what it is and where heading forward full steam ahead.

But we’re not going alone and for that I am hugely thankful.  Thanks so much for the prayers!  Thanks hugely to GiGi for watching the kids and being here during this time.  As always love to brothers and sisters in law and family for keeping it real.  Thanks to my parents for riding up and down that road to Columbia and for being here.  Thanks to my students for keeping me human in the midst of this and being wonderful.  Thanks to each of you for your comments, emails, notes, cards, EVERYTHING – they have each meant the world.  Thanks especially to my precious children who are the best cuddlers and welcome homers I know and to my amazing rock of a husband Mike who has been unwavering and more amazing than I could imagine or ask for through all of this.  It’s been a week and a half.  When I have surgery it will be just barely 2 weeks from being healthy happy narcie to what in the heck is in my brain.

I didn’t know I could be so tired, so grateful, so scared, so at peace, and so hopeful all at the same time.

  She does theodicy so well….Amy Grant’s Somewhere Down the Road…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYtqPgIE-kg

Going to sleep now! =0)

Posted in Family, Health, Music, Tumor

Not going for that annual quite yet…

Posted on by narciejeter

Hi y’all!  So as always there are highs and lows in a day.  (Can’t decide whether watching The Bachelorette right now is a high or a low…much better on fast forward to the decent parts.)  Mike and I dropped off the CD of the previous MRI/CT Scan at the neurosurgeon’s, I got a quick lesson on all this brain stuff from a wonderful Emory friend, and our GPS got us to Carolinas Medical Center.  I’ve never been to the real one – just having babies at the one in Pinevile.

We parked way far away because we had no clue where to go but we finally figured it out and it made for a beautiful day to walk.  Filled out some more forms and then got to talk to the anesthesologist and a nurse.  I’ll get to the hospital at 11:15 am and they’ll take all of us up to the 5th floor and get them settled in the waiting room, will bring me in, I’ll get to see everyone one last time, and then we’ll begin.  They’ve blocked out the room for up to three hours.  I should be in the neurointensive care for at least one night and then in the hospital 3-5 days.  Okay.  There we go.  So then giving a couple more tubes of blood, we were back in the sunshine.

Time to hit up Rock Bottom Brewery.  Completely randomly they sat us in the same booth that we were in over 9 years ago when we talked to Mike’s parents about us getting engaged and began wedding planning with them.  Oh, ironic.  In the midst of this I get a phone call and it’s not a number I recognize and let me tell you – we are screening some calls these days.  So Mike answers “Narcie’s phone, Mike speaking” and I think okay he’ll probably be on there for a while but quickly he hands it over to me and whispers “OB-Gyn.”  I’m thinking what in the heck do they want at this point?  And the very nice lady says, Mrs. Jeter you haven’t scheduled your annual appointment yet.  I know I probably should have just penciled it in to the looming calendar that I had in my pocketbook but I couldn’t help myself and said – welp, I was told a week ago I have a brain tumor and they’re operating on it on Friday and I don’t think I’ll be getting to that appointment any time soon.  LOL.  We both had a good laugh.  She said to call back any time.  It’s important – keep in good health people – but not in the scheme of things right now.

I didn’t realize until today being in there that my life is going to change for awhile.  I mean I’ve had that realization in pieces over the past week and a half but Mike and I also decided at a certain point that I needed to live my life as normally as possible.  In the midst of that though I’m now thinking oh wow what do I need to do before Friday?  We went and bought some books and some toys for Enoch and Evy for the days to come.  I got to play with the kiddos in the bath tonight and put both of them to bed.  Mike asked the nurse today if when I come back home, I can really come back home.  In other words – in our world here there is no rest, Mommy napping, etc.  There is Silly 1 and Silly 2 – my two wild and crazy E’s.  She said we’ll have to ask the doctor.  Should be interesting.

Tomorrow Enoch will go back to school, Evy will have our 16 month check up, and I’ll do some work at Wesley for one of the last times before Friday.  Then we’ll head to MRI land and will see what Presbyterian Hospital looks like.  This has been a sort of weird medical scavenger hunt.

Earlier I posted one of my favorite Laura Story songs.  I actually like most of her new CD – great stuff!  One of my all time favorites of hers though was when she was with Silers Bald and it’s called “Grace.”

  Glad that we can start each morning with mercies anew and grace afresh!  Check it out…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FribXzqHVE